Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year's Eve, Kids

Self Portrait, Anne in VT at the snow-c0vered Lake.
Christmas Day, 2009

Remember when I said that 2007 was going to be my year? And when it wasn't, 2008, and 2009 were going to be my years?

2010 is my year.

I also hope it's yours!

Happy New Year's Eve, everyone!


Anne 2.0 and Doodle

Two Can Anne Now Designated Holiday Bartender

Christmas Day and Post Christmas Holiday cocktails at Chez Altman:

Champagne Cocktail: Champagne, Pomegranate Juice, Lemon Juice, Sugared Rim, Lemon Twist

Martinis: Ice Water Chilled Glasses. Dump water, squeeze lemon twist into glass for lemon vapor. Drop in lemon twist. Add shaken Plymouth gin. Enjoy being hammered.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Texting with Tuna the Fish

"New Chapter: 'Minus One" or 'No, my partner and I have not been to Mykonos.' "

- Tuna, December 12, 2009 12:08 PM

Monday, December 21, 2009

Blogs, They Are a Changin': A Two Can Anne Very Special Announcement

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

-Elizabeth Stone

And I've made that momentous decision.

You read that correctly, everyone; I'm having a baby! Due in March.

Merry Christmas!

Anne and Doodle

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Snow Angel (Devil?)

Doodle, NYC ~ March 8, 2007

What's Goin' on in Olean, New York Right Now?

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Tuna (left) and Me (right)

I'm spending this snowy afternoon with Tuna on a great adventure to get our pictures taken with a Santa Claus based in a Forest Hills, Queens. Talk about an exotic field trip! I'm stoked.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Doodle's Goin' Back to Vermont This Christmas

Here's a photo Doodle took in 2008 called "Under the Porch Where I Like to Pee and Kill Stuff"
This photo is available printed on streched canvas. Inquire within.
Photos by Doodle, VT~ August 2008

Tonight: Mortified! On Ice! Holiday Angst Edition!

December 17, 2009
9 pm
200 Hudson Street

Featuring mortifying teen crap from:

Julia Wright
Anne Altman
Shawn Hollenbach
Alene Latimer
Erin Griffith
Kristina Wong
Kyle Supley
Emlyn Morinelli
Becky Ciletti

Santa May Look Creepy

But did the North Pole part with billions for sexual abuse lawsuits resulting in thousands of resignations, retirements, defrockings? I don't think so. Maybe. Regardless, a priest never got me a Barbie Beauty Center for Christmas.

Santa and Anne, 1970's

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Dood Ain't a Big Fan of the Water Either

Don't You Wish Your Kitty Was Cute Like Me?

Doodle, NYC ~ November 28, 2009

Just in Time

The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC ~ December 12, 2009

I got up bright and early this morning to get to the Met to set my peepers on the fascinating exhibition of the amazing Zurich-born photographer, filmmaker and artist Robert Frank, called The Americans.

His collection was everything I'd hoped it would be. The photographer's favorite picture in his series was one taken of a couple on a hill in San Francisco with the cityscape behind them, the expression on their faces described by Frank himself as "You bastard! What are you doing?" a prime example of what it's like oftentimes to be a photographer trying to surreptitiously capture life and being discovered doing so.

I got there ten minutes after the museum opened, which meant that even in this busy holiday season full of NYC visitors, I only had to endure 2 obnoxious pontificators (one of whom talked in such a booming voice he must have believed surely that others must care about his thoughts on the pictures), and two obnoxious biddies who thought this was a great place to catch up and blab about how mohair and cashmere affect their skin differently. Both couples threatened to ruin my experience, but I created my own route to avoid them and enjoyed it thoroughly. Plugging my ears didn't hurt either.

On my way out, the throngs of general population folk arrived just in time for my departure. Long lines snaking themselves at the entrance, coat check, and admissions weren't there just an hour earlier. New York is an amazing city when you know what you're doing.

Hope you're all loving this gorgeous weekend. Doodle and I are.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

TWO CAN ANNE Ticket Contest: A Very Sandwich Christmas!

The winner of this contest gets two tickets to a Very Sandwich Christmas valid for the following performances: Dec 10-14 Wed, Thurs, Fridays , Saturdays 7 and 9 pm. Special Show Monday, December 14, 2009.

In a celebration of 10 years of successful theatre-making, Banana Bag & Bodice re-imagines their classic surreal musical cabaret with new holiday charm. A Very SANDWICH Christmas is a meaty treat that leaks blood and uses bread to soak it up. Brought to you by the creators of the acclaimed Beowulf – A Thousand Years of Baggage, this show will make you laugh while forcing you to smell the burning flesh surrounding your merry little soul.

Featuring a four-piece orchestra with original score, Sandwich is a playful, provocative & horrific musical that examines the art of eating and the blind act of consumption during the festive holiday season. Like a disastrous anime cartoon with rambunctious rhythm, it features overstuffed animals offering their moral misgivings to the exaggeratedly grotesque humans that feed them. Full of sing-a-long fun, Sandwich is a compendium of oddities to stuff in your stocking. Performances begin December 3 and run through December 19: Wednesday-Friday @ 8pm, Saturdays @ 7pm and 9pm, Special Show on Monday, December 14 @ 8pm.

A Very SANDWICH Christmas cast: Peter Blomquist, Rick Burkhardt, Jason Craig, Sarah Engelke, Ezra Gale, Rod Hipskind, Jessica Jelliffe, Dave Malloy, John Murchison, Heather Peroni.
Directed by Mallory Catlett, Original Text and Music by Banana Bag & Bodice.

Tickets: $20-$25 available at or by calling 212-352-3101.

For more information visit or


What is Doodle's favorite food?

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

TWO CAN ANNE Ticket Contest: The Gayest Christmas Pageant Ever!

Holiday fun from Two Can Anne!

The winner of this contest gets 2 Tickets* to Joe Marshall's
The Gayest Christmas Pageant Ever!

*Tickets are in voucher form and available dates given on a first-come, first-emailed basis.

Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays 12/11-12/27

"The title alone is brilliant!" says Kathy Griffin

Joe Marshall's
The Gayest Christmas Pageant Ever!

"It's time for the annual holiday production for a struggling gay theater company in West Hollywood. Jim, the pot-smoking straight tech guy, offends M&M, the eclectic playwright, causing him to walk out and take his script with him. Now the crazy and drama-addicted team has just a few weeks to produce the "gayest Christmas pageant ever." This holiday camp-fest is a fast-paced comedy packed with hilarious dialog and over-the-top characters."

The Actors' Playhouse - 100 7th Avenue South (between Grove and Bleecker Streets)

Contest: Tis the season here in the office, and there are dozens of holiday cookies, candies and crap sitting on the filing cabinets which I can't seem to leave alone. Guess approximately how many calories I've consumed as of 2:39 pm Eastern Standard Time on December 8, 2009?

Monday, December 07, 2009

Blogs, They are a Changin'

Hey kids! Two Can Anne's transforming herself, and it's impossible for the blog not to change with her.

Stay tuned for a big announcement to be announced, as I'll announce the new announcement with an announcement shortly.

I Preferred Fat Al Roker

Now that I've junked my 1991 stereo system, and I'm without my NPR in the morning, I've been watching a bit of the (prepare to gag) Today Show before I go to work. Skinny Al Roker goofing with the folks in Rock Center and sharing the daily forecast? No appeal. Weather-telling jokey clowns need to be fat. I understand his weight reduction may be better for his health, but NBC should've tossed his ass when he lost his ass. Skinny and jolly? Doesn't exist. Ol' Rokes is a disturbing sight. And during the holidays no less. Good grief.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Are We Clear?

Safety deposit box outside a bank in Beverly, MA ~ November 24, 2009

Got Party Invites? Need a Pie?

I read about this quick n' easy recipe for a no-bake pie in The New York Press this morning, and I think it's perfect to bring to a dinner or party this holiday season:

No Bake Tropical Pudding Pie

- One package (3 oz) of vanilla pudding and pie fillling mix
- Vanilla Soymilk
- One can (8 oz) of pineapple slices
- 9 inch ready made graham cracker piecrust
- 2 large ripe bananas

  • Make the pudding according the package directions (using the soymilk)
  • Arrange pineapple and bananas onto the piecrust (Cut bananas into thin slices and layer on top of pineapple)
  • Spoon pudding evenly over fruit and let chill until firm (3 hours)
  • Enjoy

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

These Folks Were Lost Now & They've Been Found

By me! As I trotted to the subway this morning, I spotted this little pic of this family on the sidewalk and picked it up. They're Jewish!