Butterfly Conspiracy?

The thing with having bangs is, you have to "do" them. Sort of. Anyone who still sports a terrible 80s hairdo knows this well, but I (not having the wispy bangs that my hairstylist Butterfly recently talked me into since the 8th grade) seem to have forgotten this. Tonight I left my hair wet just a little too long and went out this evening too see a show (called "News to Me," review to follow) where I apparently sported "funny bangs" and was the subject of kind-hearted ribbing from my friends.

"Nice bangs."

Are the bangs are cute and do they make me look younger? Yes. But since the "bang cutting" a few months ago, I've found that the only way to rectify things when the bangs get too long is not to be a cheap-ass and cut them myself like I did in Junior High (and 2.5 weeks ago): twist them into a rope and cut straight across--but instead, go visit Butterfly to fix the problem. I created. Or she created? Which led me to the theory that perhaps that is what Butterfly wanted all along: me to visit my hairstylist more frequently. Darn it all! Just like the damn dentist! More visits require more time and money invested! All in the name of teeth and hair!

Neeny would say that pesky things like hair and teeth are dragging me down and draining my bank account. I remember once on a visit to my grandmother seeing my dear Aunt Neeny with some strange bruising on her face near her jaw. "I was tired of having my teeth fall out and all those visits to the dentist, so I had him pull 'em all," she said.

"Of course. Problem solved!" I replied, with a weak, uncomfortable smile. Are those bruises from the dentist's shoe on her jaw as he pried and pried with his two hands, a plier, and all his might?

Her line: "Why did God have to go and create teeth and hair?!?!"

I don't know, Neeny, I just don't know. But Dr. Castellano and Butterfly may have an idea.

I'm going to hold out until my wisps are poking me in the retinas, but I do have a dentist appointment on Wednesday and I'll make sure to talk to the hygenist and see what she has to say. These days, Dr. Castellano only has time for a "Hi, how are you, great teeth, did you have braces? See you in six months!" it seems.