Vermontus Interruptus

Friday, August 30, 11:00 a.m.:



I decide that a bus would be the quickest and least complicated and least expensive way to travel. Since I hate people, I decide to buy an $15 one way e-ticket for a 3:30 a.m. bus, I'd get a seat all to myself, take a little sleep, and when I woke up I'd be in Boston. I had a brilliant idea.

VACATION BEGINS



Friday August 30, 2:30 a.m.:



200 other people have the same brilliant idea. The sad sacks at the beginning of the line had been waiting in the pissy basement of Port Authority since 10 p.m. for the 12:30 a.m. bus, which was oversold by a busload or two.



Friday August 30. 4:20 a.m.:



The 12:30 bus people are put onto the 3:30 bus (which by 4:45 was still sitting in the terminal). Another bus arrives, and the first forty nine people in line for the 3:30 bus board, people who arrived in the pissy basement around 12:30.





Friday, August 20, 4:45 a.m.;



Pandemonium breaks out because nobody knows what is going on, and people are cutting in line and sneaking on board, taking advantage of the confusion. The broad behind me threatens to walk across the street and speak to the dispatcher, as she had this same problem last week, where she bought a ticket for a 3:30 a.m. bus which didn't leave until 7 a.m. But, she complained and they gave her half her money back for the inconvenience. $7.



Friday, August 20, 4:49 a.m.:



I bail and go home.





VACATION ENDS





Good grief. Airline travel is a nightmare, the trains are delayed as well, and now, buses? BUSES? Why do so many people have to think they need to go places these days? Where are all these people coming from? What about the tsunamis, droughts, earthquakes, tornadoes, Katrina, forest fires, heatwaves, 9/11, Darfur, Bush's War in Iraq, mining accidents, Chinese toothpaste, Chinese toys, Chinese petfood, tainted spinach, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and yet still, we have too many friggin' humans crawling around the planet? What gives?