John Street, NYC, June 20, 2007Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Anne: Wendy's on the Phone for You
Well, folks, it seems that Wendy's is a stand up joint. Good to know! I always liked that Dave Thomas may he RIP. Anyway, this afternoon I received a return phone call regarding my query by a lovely woman named Michelle Lemmons from Wendy's corporate. That's the good news. The bad news is that our in-house actuary disagrees with her assumptions, but the case is not over. I'll give you more details on this tomorrow as I left my "copious" notes at work. Sit tight!
Bob Burns' Home, Van Buren, Akansas
This is a sweet little house, Bob Burns' house, don't you think?
Wendy's 256 Ways Debate Update
No information as of yet to the query I posed last week about what assumptions Wendy's made in their claim that there are 256 ways to personalize a Wendy's hamburger. Our math guy says, "No, way, Jose. Prove it." Ok, he didn't actually say that, probably something more along the lines of "It's mathematically impossible. What, aw they friggin' retawded?"
Since lunch that day, I've called Wendy's corporate a total of 3 times now and left messages with the Marketing department. I'll will call again this afternoon, because I know that you're all waiting for answers. Tell me about it. I told the Wendy's people that I was a reporter on the beat and everything, ready to put the story to press, and hey, wouldn't they like to explain their side before I call them on their dodgy math? Perhaps Wendy's doesn't care, being up for sale and all. Or perhaps they're up for sale because of their dodgy math all around. Or how about poor customer service? How do you put a claim on a bag and not back it up, especially when you're begging people with a 1-888 number to get customer feedback? I mean, hello?
Will advise.
In the meantime, you'll may be entertained to know that the following searches in Google lead folks to Two Can Anne.
Since lunch that day, I've called Wendy's corporate a total of 3 times now and left messages with the Marketing department. I'll will call again this afternoon, because I know that you're all waiting for answers. Tell me about it. I told the Wendy's people that I was a reporter on the beat and everything, ready to put the story to press, and hey, wouldn't they like to explain their side before I call them on their dodgy math? Perhaps Wendy's doesn't care, being up for sale and all. Or perhaps they're up for sale because of their dodgy math all around. Or how about poor customer service? How do you put a claim on a bag and not back it up, especially when you're begging people with a 1-888 number to get customer feedback? I mean, hello?
Will advise.
In the meantime, you'll may be entertained to know that the following searches in Google lead folks to Two Can Anne.
- Ritualistic murdering of red heads
- Wendy's 256 ways
- How to break up with someone and still be friends
- Pirate bikini
- Old train stations in PA
Again, I hope readers found the answers to what they were looking for on 1, 2, 4, and 5, because I can assure you I don't know the answer to #3. It's mathmatically impossible. What, aw you friggin' retawded?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Two Can Anne: You Can Get Here From There
It goes without saying that if you're looking for a high-brow blog, well, you're looking at one right now. I am so proud. I hope visitors found all the information they were looking for, because I aim to be a resource. Like a card catalogue, if you will, of crap.
Actual Google Search Terms Which Brought People to Two Can Anne (in the past two days):
- cumberbund spelling
- suck matt leblanc's cock
- I like horsetail butt plugs
- gays in albania
Buffalo's Own Patti Novak
My new favorite show: Confessions of a Matchmaker on A&E.
Finally, Buffalo on the map, thanks to straight shootin' and sassy Patti Novak. Only a spicy saucy Buffalo gal could tell a man "You're gay," and have him be so cool with it that he lets her set up him with a dude. But this is, afterall, the home of the magical hot wing.
Every week Patti helps lonely people who walk in the door find love and happiness by giving them the harsh truth--in an equally harsh yet endearing accent of long a's. "You're too tan! Stop tanning for one week. You have harsh look. When you're fifty you're gonna look like an old bag! Do you know what hung up wet and rode hard means? Well, you're hard." In this hyper politically correct world, it's refreshing as an icy Labatt's Blue Light to hear someone telling it like it is.
The tan skank couldn't handle the truth and walked out of Patti's office, but the guy who went out with a dude had a great time! We certainly can't count on the Bills for happy endings, can we? Or the Sabres.
Ugh. Perhaps it was too soon to bring up the Sabres.
Way to go, Patti! Western New York is in the house in a good way!
Finally, Buffalo on the map, thanks to straight shootin' and sassy Patti Novak. Only a spicy saucy Buffalo gal could tell a man "You're gay," and have him be so cool with it that he lets her set up him with a dude. But this is, afterall, the home of the magical hot wing.
Every week Patti helps lonely people who walk in the door find love and happiness by giving them the harsh truth--in an equally harsh yet endearing accent of long a's. "You're too tan! Stop tanning for one week. You have harsh look. When you're fifty you're gonna look like an old bag! Do you know what hung up wet and rode hard means? Well, you're hard." In this hyper politically correct world, it's refreshing as an icy Labatt's Blue Light to hear someone telling it like it is.
The tan skank couldn't handle the truth and walked out of Patti's office, but the guy who went out with a dude had a great time! We certainly can't count on the Bills for happy endings, can we? Or the Sabres.
Ugh. Perhaps it was too soon to bring up the Sabres.
Way to go, Patti! Western New York is in the house in a good way!
Is This All There is To Tennis?
Because if it is, it's safe to say I'd be friggin' awesome at tennis. Add it to the list, people.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Ever Play That Game A$$hole?
I played it in Brooks Brothers this afternoon when I bought 4 snarky douchebag golf shirts in a rainbow of colors including Steve Forbes Pistachio, Drunk Uncle Ted's Roseacea, and Traditional White Man's Burden.
What?
I know! I don't even golf!
What??
I know! But they were in sale for $38 a piece if you bought three or more!
What???
What?
I know! I don't even golf!
What??
I know! But they were in sale for $38 a piece if you bought three or more!
What???
Alright, they were $39.99 or whatevs.
OH, God I know. Don't even look at me, I know! No, I can't afford them really, but I just want to fit in! I just want to fit in. I want to wake up everyday like the dudes in my office and my wardobe choice be limited to a khaki pants/ collared golf shirt/ comfortable shoe uniform so I don't have to freakin' spend so much energy on complicated and annoying lady outfits. Ayite?
Freakin' dudes. They have it all. Especially the rich old money ones. Anybody know where I can buy one of those?
OH, God I know. Don't even look at me, I know! No, I can't afford them really, but I just want to fit in! I just want to fit in. I want to wake up everyday like the dudes in my office and my wardobe choice be limited to a khaki pants/ collared golf shirt/ comfortable shoe uniform so I don't have to freakin' spend so much energy on complicated and annoying lady outfits. Ayite?
Freakin' dudes. They have it all. Especially the rich old money ones. Anybody know where I can buy one of those?
Slaves: Isn't It Time We Thanked Them?
Here's an uplifting, heartwarming little ditty from my friends at Wonder Showzen who always know how to keep it real. And obnoxious, but you know what? Sometimes reality isn't nice. Ayite? Pick up a friggin' newspaper once in awhile. Ayite? Ayite. Now get your shit together, watch this clip, and run out and buy Seasons 1 and 2 for someone you love. You.
New York Rises
NYC Traffic Jam, near Williamburg Bridge, 1923 by Eugene de Salignac
103 Clinton Street, 1908, NYC, by Eugene de SalignacThere's a very, very cool exhibit going on at the Museum of the City of New York, people. It's called New York Rises, and it features wonderful photography by Eugene de Salignac. De Salignac captured images of nascent buildings and bridges which defined this town and help it grow (De Salignac worked for the city in it's Department of bridges/plant and Structures Dept), as well as the life of the everyday New Yorker (traffic jams and side streets). Make sure you visit soon; show goes through September 4.
You can see more of De Salignac's photos here.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Street Fair Fare
Appealing to me as eating a rock covered in glass. But they sure are pretty. These on the other hand, these are tough to resist. Traditional NYC cannoli. Fuggeddaboudit.
Lexington Avenue Street Fair, NYC, Father's Day 2007
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