Cawwlling Awwl Lawwng Islanders

Tonight at Huntington's Cinema Arts Centre (centre vs center: classier), Nina Paley--America's best-loved unknown cartoonist-- will be showing some of her work. For those of you who live elsewhere, like I do, it's a wonderful excuse to visit the island. The long one. Think: field trip.

Celebrate the Day After Valentine's Day with a work-in-progress screening of the Greatest Break-Up Story Ever Told: Sita Sings the Blues! This will be the most extensive show of the work-in-progress yet, featuring ELEVEN musical episodes (10 Hanshaw songs plus a new ditty by Rohan) and the first-ever public screening of the latest chapter, Agni Pariksha. Plus, chapter 4 - Battle of Lanka - will be on glorious, colorful, dazzling 35mm FILM! But hold onto your hats - we'll also be showing Fetch! and Pandorama on 35mm, and The Stork and some other goodies. I'll be there in person, answering questions and babbling away. ~Nina


February 15, 7:30pm
Cinema Arts Centre
423 Park Avenue
Huntington, NY 11743

Taking the train: From Penn Station, 34th Street and 7th Avenue, take the LIRR, Port Jefferson Branch. Get off at Huntington. Train schedule is available at Penn Station, or call516-231-LIRR (718-217-LIRR). An off-peak round-trip ticket costs around $14.50 (one-way: $7.25 / peak one-way: $10.25). From the station, the easiest way to get to the Cinema is to take a cab (roughly $5.00).

Weird Wedding Photo Part XI

Poe May Have Died in Baltimore, But He Was Born In Beantown

Edgar Allen Poe was talented. But he had a rough start in life, and quickly became bitter jerk and a depressive drunk. True. Yet I'm a bit obsessed with miserable Poe, unfortunately, and it's most probably because I recognize the ugly stuff about myself in him.

Most people associate Poe with Baltimore, the city of his death, but he actually was born in Boston, a city he despised for a number of reasons, all of them revolving around the same basic bitterness:

1) He considered Boston the hub of the weathy, elitist literati like Longfellow (whom he turned his hatred into a full-time job)

2) He bombed during a Boston poetry reading one evening and was shredded to pieces in the press the following day.

Having been envious of wealthy or more appropriately "connected" people and also having bombed in front of a live audience before myself, I think he is justified in his distaste for the town. It's immature and exactly how I'd react. Poe was the son of an actor and actress. In those times, a career as an actor was considered as about as low as you can get. In other words: no dough. They both died young, and Poe was raised by the Allens in Virginia, and in Poe's defense Mr. Allen wasn't exactly the nicest guy.

In Boston's defense, Poe reacted to the press after his disasterous reading exactly like he shouldn't have, he let it get to him, he said stupid shit, and gave them more fodder. And Longfellow? Sure, he was born into a little money and married into a serious amount more, but he didn't get his professorship at Harvard on a fluke. The dude could speak and write in over a dozen languages. I doubt he was a plagiarist like Poe claimed. Anyway, here's more about poor old Poe's roots in Boston.

Hardaway Rhymes With Gay

And it also rhymes with idiot.

What'd You Get For Valentine's Day Besides Snow & Disappointment?

I got some flowers, knee socks, and a shower head.

Believe it.

Swampscott's Own Jennifer Harris, 27, Killed in Iraq

Jennifer Harris was a Massachusetts Marine captain from my hometown. She was piloting the helicopter that was shot down on February 7 in which she and six crew members were killed. This was Jennifer's third tour of duty, and was she was scheduled to return home next week.

Too Much Information

I love information. Rarely is there such a thing as too much. Sure, I didn't watch Anderson Cooper's program last night on how humans are destroying the rain forests and crap like that because frankly, I don't have any more money to donate and who is he yelling at anyway? Not me. I sent 300 beans to save the elephants last year and since I don't have a pot to piss in or window to throw it out of, more details about deforestation in Anderson's show is just going to bum me out. Plus, I already turn off every light when I leave a room for cryin' out loud. What more am I supposed to do?

Here's where too much information comes in. I saw a commercial this afternoon with two old people making out in the back of a taxi. That's a lot of information. Hey, I'm glad if they're married that it's still passionate. Or, if they're widowed and stuff, that they had the chance to meet before they croaked, but I don't know if I need to see tongue kissing. I don't know how old they are supposed to be, but it's safe to say they have white pubes. Gross. I'm sure old people don't rent "old people porno" just because they're old. I'm sure they think they're young in their heads and wouldn't they prefer to see young people getting it on than be reminded by wrinkly items that they're just as wrinkly? Then a voiceover says, "One of them is wearing dentures." Ok, now that's simply too much.

Smooches From Doodle

doodle, 2/07

Happy Valentine's Day, Lovers!

If you have snow where you are, be safe and enjoy it. Here in NYC have frozen spittle.

It's quite beautiful.

Happy Valentine's Day, kids!

Doodle* and I love you all.

*Ok, Doodle doesn't admit to loving anyone, much less me, so just go with it and believe it today.

Valentine's Day Eve

photo from k. benbenek archive, circa 1967

On this Valentine's Day Eve, let's remember that it's not all roses and candy for people, folks. Sometimes it's better to be alone and not get a Valentine than to be in a crap relationship. Sure, you're home with your cat, but it could be a lot, lot worse. Imagine if you had no cat? Imagine that.

Or, you could be in an really unhappy marriage so you have to divorce. Or, let's say the marriage is happy, until one of you turns into a drunk and spends all your money on lotto tickets and really starts making things unpleasant. Or your marriage is happy, and you have kids, but they turn into drunks, and when you die (or before you die) all your stuff ends up in the dumpster or at a yard sale?

My point: How else can one explain how this couple's wedding album ended up at a swap meet?

These pictures are hard for even a black-hearted jerk like myself to poke fun at because they are very sweet and yet at the same time, very sad. Sure, the groom is portly and has a unibrow, but he's just a kid. And are those wistful expressions on the bride's face? Is she resigned, or is she seriously bummed? Is she bummed because she's pregnant and had to marry or because her wedding bouquet is made of white carnations? Despite the strange vibe I got from some of the photos, there does seem to be a lot of love in the album. In some photos, the bride appears happy to be with the groom and he happy to be with her, and it feels real to me, at least. The bride's parents adore her. They are happy for her on her wedding day. Where is this simple Catholic Church? What happened to this young couple?

Happy Valentine's Day Eve, kids. May you keep your junk in perspective and out of a dumpster (unless you're the one who put it there).

This is What a Diet of Slimfast & Methadone Looks Like

Doodle 2/13/07

YouTube Founders Split 650 Million Dollars

In a related story, Anne eats a dinner consisting of frozen leftover zucchini rotini casserole, a recipe she ripped straight from the pages of a Ladies Home Journal she stole from the doctor's office a few months ago.

Last Night & Tonight

Last night I went to see the Liar's Show ,hosted by the delightful Andy Christie, where 4 folks tell a story, and only three of them are telling the truth. I spotted the liar because I have excellent intuition. I didn't even have to ask any probing questions afterward because again, I'm very good at this crap. If I didn't have a shady past, present and future, I'd be in the CIA by now. Special Opps, probs. I spotted the liar and got myself an I Can Tell a Lie T-shirt. Tonight I'm going to swing by the Moth Story Slam. The theme: Love Hurts. If my name is selected, I'll tell a story based on that subject matter. Lurking ex-boyfriends will want to skip this show.

It's Snowin' in Olean, New York!

So get ready, everyone! Everyone except for those of us who live in in New York City and environs close by. We never get anything good weather wise. Pizza-wise, and Broadway show -wise, and former wiseguy-wise, sure, but weather wise? No.

See Olean Snow.

Thrift Store Art

Drop some acid and tour this art gallery: Thrift Store Art.

Or don't drop acid. It's trippy regardless. I've pasted a few examples.

Classy Ballet Scene with Guy in Shorts Playing Piano, K. Reed, 1992

Woman Without a Body, courtesy K. Benbenek

The E.R. Hump

Money Can't Buy You Class But It Can Buy You 6 Talking Trees

Wow.

Idiot.

A bookkeeper making 40K a year embezzled millions and millions of dollars in less than a decade and bought herself a bunch of crap:

"Platt's purchases included six talking trees modeled after the "Wizard of Oz" characters; a 20-foot-tall smoke-breathing dragon; a four-bedroom house in Rhode Island; more than 35 vehicles; and a replica of a Ford Model T customized to look like a green goblin."

Prosecutors are recommending a prison sentence. I recommend psychiatric counseling. HOW MANY TALKING TREES MODELED AFTER THE WIZARD OF OZ DOES ONE NEED?

But I guess you can't just get one, because then one talking tree stands out as being sort of fake and has nobody to talk to, so you get another but then two is an even number, so three is a nice grouping, but then those trees don't match the real trees, and before you know it you have a forest of talking trees, and...

Weird Wedding Photos Part X

WEIRD

WEIRDER

WEIRDEST

Weird Wedding Photo Part IX

Paris: Won't We Always Have It?

Femme de la unknown in Paris, circa 1967

K. Benbenek, Houseplant Picture Studio

Elvis: Burning Love

You will watch this. You will love it. Sure, he's a we bit tired at this point in his life. But he ain't "phonin' it in" compared to the audience. Look at all those still-as-stiffs beehives in polyester. Are they at a Sunday morning service in Lutheran Church or at an Elvis show in Vegas? I mean, come on!