Thursday, March 04, 2010

I'm Pleased to Report I'm Pleased with My New Driver License Photo

Having your picture taken when you're weeks away from delivering a human into the world can be uncomfortable. Specifically, a head shot picture, because let's say your face is bloated from your pregnancy, but the rest of you is hidden from view.

For eight years you must to explain the big face to bouncers, cops, bank tellers, and of course, your kid: "Mommy doesn't look like Mommy in that picture because that picture was taken when Mommy was pregnant with you. When you ruined her body. Remember? Of course you don't."

Luckily, save for the turbo pumpkin in my midsection, the rest of me remains relatively unchanged. I've definitely added some padding to my face, but at my age, I consider it a wrinkle-filling youth boost. And two weeks ago when I had this photo taken, I was probably a few pounds lighter. The man behind the DMV counter who took it said after he snapped it, "You'll love it. It looks nothing like you." He's right! It's a great picture. I'm really terrible at a lot of stuff but apparently really good at taking an excellent DMV shot. I'd teach a class, but I don't know my own secret.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back my lunch of an oatmeal raisin cookie which is the size of my dome piece.


Abbi Crutchfield said...

"You'll love it. It looks nothing like you." His name is Sunshine.

Can't you scan and crop the photo for the world to appreciate? Or scour Google images for a while and pick its nearest celebrity look-alike? Can't you spend time catering to my whims instead of always thinking about yourself?

anne altman said...

i think i can indulge y'all for once. let me see what i can do.

after i finish this cookie.