Mother's Little Helper

I like to keep plenty o' the "appetizing, stimulating tonic" around here. It's "essential at this time."

Whole Foods

Now that the Bowery has been gentrified to the bright sheen of a highly polished turd, I had the pleasure of shopping at a Whole Foods tonight. I spied one as I walked home a little tipsy from a show on the Lower East Side. I must say, being used to crappy cat piss smellin' Gristedes et al, at Whole Foods I was mesmerized by the large and colorful fresh vegetables a plenty, the size and selection of the fruit, the prices and variety of virtually everything from bread to cheese to seafood and various sundries. My socks were also blown off by the the rat the size of a baby alligator which banged a left at my aisle at full speed as it darted underneath the frozen foods refrigerator. So were the socks of the guys behind the meat counter. They saw it too. Bliccccky bliccccky doo doo. When I paid for my stuff at the register --one of the pieces of stuff being an empty bag of freeze dried strawberries which I ate in line--the guy who had to do the price check on said empty bag of strawberries called me a "rebel." Oooooh. Me=rebel.