Mistaken Lyrics: Scorpio

In Junior High I used to go over to this one friend's house after school to hang out. I'll call her Kelly. Kelly, who happened to be a Rolling Stones fan and a Scorpio, belted out "Scorpi-oh!" with such verve and conviction into her hairbrush one afternoon that I immediately regretted killing her buzz by telling her that it was actually "Start Me Up." She was kind of a hothead with some pretty abrupt mood swings. I seem to remember that she called me a liar and kicked me out of her house. Mood swing people are selfish. Oh, and crazy. She also used to call Nike sneakers "Nykes," but I guess we all did back then, before they changed the world. She had Nykes before I did, but hers were discount from Marshall's and were tan nylon with a dark brown swoosh, like poo and poop color. So I wasn't too envious. Just a little bit envious. Everyone knows that the classic was the blue with yellow swoosh, anyway. I'll wait for those, thank you very much. I'll put a hold on cool for awhile and make sure I get it right instead of shooting my load too soon with the poo and poop shoes. Swoosh.

Mistaken Lyrics: Livin' in the Bronx

Until a few days ago, I was groovin' away like an a-hole to "Sexy Back" when I was taught that Justin Timberlake is not actually saying "Go ahead... be goin...'" but instead, "Go heavy, Go with it." I was schooled. Until, that is, I found the lyrics online and they're "Go ahead, be gone with it..." so whatever, peoples.

I tell you what though, I sure got a howl out of my friend Martin's "Living in the Bronx...Living in the Bronx...It's a put on...Livin' in the Bronx..." as "Eminence Front" blared on the stereo one evening. When I enlightened him (sometimes I enlighten), I remember he said, "What the hell does "eminence front" mean?" Exactly. What does it matter if you're singin' away having a good time? It's all a put on. Please, put your hands together for The Who, and "Eminence Front."

Mistaken Lyrics: Paragoo Twist

What's the Paragoo Twist? It's what my friend thought Billy Ocean was singing when he was actually saying Caribbean Queen. Nothing is funnier than being around someone when they sing the wrong crap because the word or phrase that is mistaken for the real lyric is always ridiculous. He had no friggin' idea what Paragoo Twist meant, but he sang it anyway and figured Billy Ocean knew what it meant and that was enough for him. My favorite part of this song? The beginning: "She's simply...awesome." The Paragoo Twist and the Caribbean Queen. Both simply awesome. Just a side note, I'm more of a person who says "CAH-ribbean" rather than "Car-ra-bbe-an" but I suppose that's neither here nor there.