What Happens Las Vegas

John, NYC ~ July 19, 2010

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I mentioned earlier that John got a ride in his first ExerSaucer on his four-month birthday, and JD named it The Las Vegas of Playtime because John gets such a kick out of it. Ironically, it is a medieval-themed version with King and Queen, Jester, etc, and looks not unlike the Excalibur Hotel.

Lately we've been playing a game where JD will "fly" John around the room and into Las Vegas: "We're now landing in Las Vegas International Airport, where the time is 4:20 pm and the temperature a comfortable 108 degrees..." And then he plops the baby down in the seat, and we usually have the following conversation with him as he bops around in there and has his mind blown:

• Good afternoon, Sir. Welcome to the Excalibur Hotel. Are you checking in? Do you need help with your bags?
• Here are you keys, Sir. Suite 5000. Yes, the Dom is chilling in your room, everything is as you requested.
• Dinner is at 6:30. Shall we draw a bath in the meantime for you, Sir?
• Have you had too much to drink, Sir?
• Would you like another drink, Sir?
• Is this dealer cold? Would you like to switch tables?
• You're crying. Have you had enough of Las Vegas?
• No? Would you like another drink? Can I interest you in the roulette table?
• Have you tried the slots? Please swivel around and enjoy the buffet.
• Glad you're having a good time.
• You're drooling, Sir. There's a big puddle betwixt your toes. Or is that pee?
• As the Mayor of Las Vegas, I would like to present you with the Keys to the City.
• Sir, I noticed you got sick on yourself. And you're crying again. And you may have made a little bean pie in your pants. Did you make a little bean pie in your pants? Whoa! Excuse me, Sir? If it's no trouble, might you warn me before you belch your drink of formulakkah in my face? Okay. Can I escort you to your room? Are you ready to leave Las Vegas? You can always come back...

Big Birthdays in Las Vegas

John turned four months old yesterday. Since he's outgrown his "lie around on the Boppy pillow and get a flat head while Mommy watches The Price is Right" stage, I thought it was a good opportunity to drag out the over-sized toy my boss generously donated to us, an enormous EvenFlo ExerSaucer (ie: Neglect-a-Saucer) which had been living in a jumbo black garbage bag in my foyer.

I was hoping against hope that the baby didn't like it so I'd have a reason to donate the saucer someone who lives in a more appropriately-sized dwelling, but to my chagrin, John is bonkers for it. JD calls the ExerSaucer, appropriately, "The Las Vegas of Playtime." Here is Mr. Las Vegas himself literally in his element:

John, NYC ~ July 14, 2010

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Additionally, John celebrated his four-month milestone this morning with a new trick after Fido's own heart: He rolled over. His Daddy and I cheered, complete with a high-five. Go Johnny, go Johnny, it's your birthday. Now if you don't like what you see, just spin around, you little twerp! This is Las Vegas!

If You Ain't Been to Jerry's Nugget Then You Ain't Been to Vegas

Jerry's Nugget, Las Vegas, Nevada~5/17/07

Lunch for 4 at Jerry's Nugget Casino: One "Nugget" --the Jerry's Nugget Special Pizza--(which my cousin inquired about so frequently while it was in the oven --"How's the Nugget doin'?"--that it came out a little undercooked), one order of fried mozzarella half-moons, two large salads, one spicy meatball sandwich and one warm Italian sandwich plus unlimited refills of coke and iced tea. Total cost? $35 with tip. "Are you sure you don't want dessert? Tiramisu?" asked the waitress. Get a look at this cake rotator:

What you see are single serving-sized portions, folks. That's Vegas for you. The tiramisu is in the goblet. ****BURP****

Feel free to stay awhile after lunch and gamble a bit. Here's a snap of Jerry's clientele:

Oh, good ol' Jerry's Nugget. So many people are happy you're there.

The Las Vegas Airport is Cool Because it Has Slot Machines

And a Kandle Kiosk*.

*I don't know if it was actually kalled Kandle Kiosk, but if it wasn't, it should be.

New York to Vegas to New York, Las Vegas

Rockies?

Desert?

Stratosphere, Las Vegas?

That's Vegas, alright.

New York, New York? In Las Vegas, Nevada

The roller coaster may be cool, but New York, New York's Empire and Chrsyler buildings suck. The scale's all wrong. Lame.

Leaving Las Vegas

I can't get into too much detail (this being Vegas and all) but we had a great time:

Outside The Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada ~ May 20, 2007

Leaving for Las Vegas

When Vegas was interesting and no kids were allowed. Except for these big, old drunk kids.

Packing is Lame

I'm not a fan of packing. I find it to be a tedious and risky task. Inevitably you end up at your travel destination pretty pissed at yourself for bringing the wrong thing/leaving the right thing behind. You think, "I can't friggin' believe it! I had it in there, and then at the last minute I took it out! WTF! I SUCK! I suck soooo BAD! This trip is gonna be horrendous now!"

I'm a much better in the '00's than I was back in the day, though. My baby sister (an outdoorswoman) has been a great influence on me in that respect. She's helped me simplify. Those trips I took back in the 80's, no matter what the length of stay, they all required copious amounts of makeup, hairspray, shoes, curling irons, scrunchy socks, and the like. I never gave the slightest thought to the old suggestion: "Pack your bag. Take half of the stuff out. Now you're packed." And that's a good way to pack. It's terrible when you realize you packed too much, and now you have to lug it around. I guess that's why rich people always pack too much. They don't have to lug their own shit around. Tsssk. Rich people. Why don't they just shove it?

Tonight, I will attempt to pack 3 nights and 4 days worth of crap into a large backpack. (If I can't, I'll go with the duffle, but I really want the backpack) At this stage in my life, I find travelling light (with the wrong stuff) to be a truly a liberating feeling. What do you really need in Las Vegas, clothing-wise anyway? 3 sexy cocktail dresses and a pair of fake eyelashes shouldn't take up too much space. Unless you're a Las Vegas showgirl. Then I expect your fake eyelashes alone probably need their own suitcase. And that's high maintenance. I like things easy. Let's take it easy, everybody. With style, of course. This is Las Vegas, afterall.

I'm Going To Vegas

Posts will be slim to none. Just like my casino winnings.