Something Harry Houdini and I Have in Common

Appendicitis.

Sadly, a once seemingly "invincible" Houdini died from his case in 1931, after receiving a punch to the torso which resulted in a ruptured appendix. He was buried in Queens after a tremendous funeral:



I was lucky; I didn't die from my appendicitis. Though it happened when I was only 4, I remember the incident semi-vividly. One summer I was at a garage sale, either ours or our neighbors and complained of a stomachache. I must have been a huge pain in the ass (no surprise), because I remember my mother being irritated with my whining.

Finally she took me seriously and called the doctor. Before long, he arrived in a station wagon (I think my Dad was travelling on business) and picked us up. I remember asking Mom, "Are we going to the hospital?" --because I had been to a hospital or two in my short time on Earth being accident prone and all-- (tobogganing into a tree, sliding head first into a potted cactus plant, falling a flight above head-first onto a gravel driveway) and she said, "No, no, of course not, honey..." and all that jazz you have to say when you're trying to save your kid's life, and lo and behold, where does the station wagon pull into, but the parking lot of the hospital. I WAS PISSED!

"YOU LIED TO ME!" I screamed. Inside, I was put in a crib (a CRIB! Cribs are for babies!) in a room with green walls and a creepy clown painted on it. Turns out, my appendix burst, and I almost died from the infection. Emergency surgery? Good times! I spent weeks in the hospital and remember a lot of cards and toys and stuffed animals from family. When I was finally released in the fall, my mother took pictures of me in a pretty party dress on our sofa for the annual Christmas card (Yay, she's alive!), but when she got the pictures back, my knees were as knobby as grapefruits and my eyes were as baggy as Chris Noth's. (Think Oxfam) Needless to say, she didn't send the card out that year, due to the hideous factor. But without that experience, I'd never have two enormous scars ("worm" and "caterpillar") and not much to do with Houdini at all. Thank goodness for happy accidents.