Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Sometimes You Think You're Taking Your Last Train Ride

I just made the 6 train just as the doors closed. And I not only made the train, but managed to find an empty seat in an air-conditioned car on a hot day. A seat, I might add, unfortunately situated across from the two broads in the picture I've sketched for you above*. Both were wearing head-to-toe black and entirely covered, save for the eyeballs on the one on the left which were revealed because she wasn't wearing sunglasses like her buddy on the right. And each time the train stopped and more passengers got on, their eyeballs would bug out of their heads at the sight of this ominous pair with a double or triple take. Every once in awhile the two would lean into each others' ears and whisper something. The one on the left was also rifling through her purse quite a bit. Do you think I was scared? You bet your ass I was. So I stared. And I stared. And I continued to stare at them as I wondered to myself, Is this my last train ride? I think this is my last train ride. Holy crap! This is my last fucking train ride! I can't believe I'm going out like this. I guess it could be considered more heroic somehow and less embarrassing than dying on the back of an overloaded 4-wheelie, which is how I thought I was going to go ten years ago...When the train stops at 23rd, should I move to the next car? Should I? Or should I get off the train altogether? But then I'll be late for work. Isn't the next car going to be just as pervious? I'm probably okay just where I'm sitting, directly across from the purse bombs. Is this going to hurt? Good grief, I hope not. Nails in the face? That's gotta hurt. My head'll be blown straight to bits, right? That can't hurt. But that's gotta hurt, right? Better than being in the car next door, where I could watch my own arm get an arm blown off and die of shock, probably, right? Ah, well. . . When suddenly, I arrived at my stop with nary a tick tick tick or a kaboom. Guess I managed to live for another train ride. As I got off, I glanced back quickly at the hobgoblins: Hope you ladies enjoy the rest of the day--which does not happen to be Halloween--scaring the living crap out of everyone you meet. I'm going to work now.

*photo not available because i didn't want them to blow my ass up when i reached for my camera

6 comments:

Matt Sears said...

Is that a drawing of Grimace?

anne altman said...

grimace the female suicide bomber, yes.

Just Dave said...

They were probably whispering about the exposed ankles of all the infidel sluts on the train-lol.

anne altman said...

this infidel slut was wearing a mini dress. ankles x 1,000

Sans Pantaloons said...

I think you are very brave.

Anonymous said...

If you must know I was just looking for a stick of gum.