This Sheet Does Work

Got dirty laundry but no time? Check.

Got dirty laundry and no time and dozens of stairs to climb? Check.

Got dirty laundry, no time, dozens of stairs to climb, and no extra hands for bulky products because you're carrying an extra load (pregnant)? CHECK!



Even if you answered two out of three, Purex Complete 3-in-1 is for you; these pre-treated detergent/softener/dryer sheets are phenomenally convenient for the average city kitty, let alone a suburban dweller with the luxury of washer/ dryer in the house.


This Sheet Works - Purex® Complete 3-in-1™ Laundry Sheets





* I don't get paid in cash or with products to endorse stuff, so believe it, yo. This sheet is good.

Busted in Her Self-Made Down Comforter Hidey Hole

Doodle, NYC ~ 1.7.09

Doodle's New Sweater

Doodle modeling her new ski sweater as she practices smothering the baby by smothering the onesies. Good job, Doodle!

Doodle, NYC ~ January 27, 2010

Best Baby Shower Ever

Tonight wonderful friends (including a real live baby) came out to support (and delightfully roast) me and baby-to-be. I'm so honored by everyone's thoughtfulness--especially those who put the whole thing together in the first place--that for once, I'm speechless.

The Today Show Has Softened My Brain

I may need to wear a helmet for awhile.

Since tossing my vintage 1990 stereo a few months ago, I regrettably no longer listen to NPR (WNYC) in the morning. I now rely on NY1 but since it repeats itself every fifteen minutes or so I've been also flirting with The Today Show. For this, I'm paying a high intellectual price. Man, is that show dumb. A dumb show talking down to what is a dumb audience, I guess, and I'm a dumbass for participating in the dumbing down process. I can't decide whom I like least. Meredith, Matt, Ann, or Al, and yet, there I am, watching it. Gross! As I was being patronized this morning, and Martha Stewart gasped, "I just love woks," as she tended to her stir fry before commercial break, I recalled a few dumb things folks have said around me recently.

In a meeting a few days ago, someone said, "Last year, we had an account that was literally in the toilet." Do you believe him? I don't believe him. That'd have to be one big toilet.

And recently while I was walking down Broadway, I encountered a group of tourists from Long Island. Naturally, they were chirping with excitement about their surroundings as they made their way to their next destination. One pointed to Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian, in NYC, formerly the Customs House, and exclaimed to her fellow hens, "That used to be Delmonico's Steak House*. Eggs Benedict was discovered** there. Yeah! Eggs benedict! It was discovered there!"

* no it didn't
**discovered?

Here's the real story behind eggs benedict.


Sigh.

www.marriedtothesea.com

No Fair For the Fatties

Some dear friends are throwing a wonderful baby benefit for me tomorrow night. I decided that since the spotlight will be on me and the wiggling basketball I smuggle under my clothing everyday, that a new festive frock might be in order for such a special occasion.

It was not to be.

Whether you're reluctantly fat (most Americans) or fat on purpose (pregnant), the stores aren't very kind to you when it comes to style. Unless, that is, you're a wealthy reluctantly fat or fat on purpose person and can have designers make you a custom-fit gown.

H&M has a Maternity section called H&M Mama, so I visited their Herald Square location after work. But the selection of dresses was bleak, practically non-existent, rendering a trip for someone lugging around 30 extra pounds a big huge bummer. I did manage to walk out of there with a very nice 3-piece set of maternity basics in a little cotton bag emblazoned on the front with, "Get Started, Mama" consisting of a black tank, belly band, and leggings in an organic cotton mix fabric that is uber soft, stretchy, and comfortable. I see myself living in the leggings for the next few weeks, perhaps indefinitely. A great investment for $29.95, no matter what kind of fat you are.

For tomorrow night's gala, if you stop me on the red carpet and ask me what I'm wearing, I'll say, "Same thing I wore last weekend!" Which is a simple black wrap dress by Liz Lange Maternity for Target which cost about $25. Throw on some bright accessories you haven't seen in awhile, and you know what, bitches? You're gonna love it!

Would I?

Would I hire a painter whom, according to his advertisement, has been in business over 20 Year's and touts no hidden fee's?

Yes; I don't have time to worry about unnecessary apostrophe's: I'm having a baby in less than two month's.

Doodle's a Photographer: Christmas Vacation Doodle Style

"Liberry" ~ Photo by Doodle the Cat, Vermont ~ December 24, 2009

"Garage Lights" ~ Photo by Doodle the Cat, Vermont ~ December 24, 2009

"Mom's Can Under the Christmas Tree" (Anne) ~ Photo by Doodle the Cat, Vermont, 12/25/09

"Mom" (Anne) ~ Photo by Doodle the Cat, Vermont, 12/25/2009

Doodle the Photographer, Back From an Expedition, Vermont~ December 24, 2009

Just in From CNN

Gary Coleman in jail
Scorpions announce breakup
Brad, Angelina not splitting




As you were.

Excited Prospective Grandmothers Take the Cake

Real cake (green layer: chocolate with ganache filling and white frosting, yellow layer: carrot with cream cheese frosting). After it was cut, I paid a little too much attention to this cake.

Diaper cake! Made with love by my mother.

Ingredients: Newborn disposable diapers. Sure, they're new, but the cake's not edible.

Unless you're a termite or whatever eats paper.

Scenes from a Baby Shower, January 23, 2010

Amtrak' Quiet Car So Quiet Everyone is Snoring

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Are we freakin' snorious?

The only way I can deal with it is to quickly snap my reclined seat back into its upright position. The 85 year old dude behind me doesn't know what the hell is going on or why he's woken up from his nap 6 times in an hour but a girl's gotta save herself.

Ella Roof Heckendorn Liked to Write It Down

Another excerpt from my great grandmother Ella Roof's diary:


"Bridge--

June 1940


Mrs. Port, Mrs. Fleming, and I played at Edna's one eve in June when Mrs. Port came down from Chatauqua.




July 12- Edna, Mrs. Benner, and I played at Flemings--Mrs. B served Salad, Rolls, Coffee.


July 19- Edna and Mrs. B- beat Mrs. Fleming, Edna and Mrs Jones played here--served peach salad and muffins and Mrs. Jones and Edna beat.


Sept - Had Mrs. Port, Mrs. Fleming and Edna for bridge. Served sea foam salad."







From Mom:
Johann Nicholas Borger married Ottillia Schaffer
Their daughter Babalonia Elisabetha Borger married Conrad Hawk
Their son John George Hawk married Elizabeth Dotter
Their daughter Elizabeth Hawk married John Ruff
Their son Samuel Roof married Lucy Ann Searfoss (Serfass)
Their daughter was Mary Ellen (Ella) Roof

In Boston Tonight: Stripped Stories

Beantown peeps: My pals Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman are bringing their saucy 'n' salacious sexy storytelling show to town tonight. Check. It. Out. It's hilarious!




From Boston.com:

Photo by Anya Garrett

Care to share a personal sexual scenario at Stripped Stories? No? That’s fine, just sit back and watch others play “never have I ever’’ at this celebration of sex and how funny it can be. Hosts and creators Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman (pictured) will share their stories and ask audience members about specific sexual scenarios (possible questions: Have you had sex with a celebrity? Did you kiss on a first date?). The person with the highest score will be interviewed on stage. There will be stories by performer Cyndi Freeman and comic Mehran Khaghani, and music by folk singer Laura Burns. 8 p.m. $15. 21+. Mottley’s Comedy Club, 61 Chatham St., Boston. 877-548-3237. www.mottleyscomedy.com





-by June Wulff, Boston.com
© Copyright 2010 Globe Newspaper Company.

Doodle Likes to Be High

Doodle, Out the Window and on the Roof

(She didn't return via the window and most definitely jumped)

Vermont ~ Winter, 2006

Roy and Leona in Summer

Altman side of the tree: Roy and Leona (Leone) Merryman with a bicycle. Circa 1910

Delta, Colorado or visiting Clarion County, PA

Now THAT'S a bike!

From Mom:

1910 United States Federal Census
Name: Monsell M Merriman
Age in 1910: 31
Estimated birth year: abt 1879
Birthplace: Pennsylvania
Relation to Head of House: Head
Father's Birth Place: Pennsylvania
Mother's Birth Place: Pennsylvania
Spouse's name: Olive
Home in 1910: Delta, Delta, Colorado
Marital Status: Married
Race: White
Gender: Male

Household Members:
Monsell M Merriman Age: 31
Olive Merriman 27
Leone Merriman 8
Roy Merriman 4 1/2
Carrie Morgan 49

Texting with Tuna the Fish

"Remind me to tell you about the time I looked into the heart of an artichoke."

Tuna - 7:54 pm

"Hope you didn't see your own face"

Anne - 7:56 pm

"How did you know?"

Tuna - 7:59

This Tribe Traveled in 2009

When you're single in this beloved town, you create your own family, and occasionally you and your city kitties need a respite from the hustle and bustle. As I ponder how my life is about to change forever, I present a few images from some memorable and precious escapes I had this year with dear friends. Back when I could take off on a whim, sleep in, still see my toes, cartwheel--let alone walk without a waddle-- and my greatest concern other than the self-doubt which is inherently human was basically, who will care for Doodle while I'm gone and discourage her from taking a revenge dump on my bed?

Puerto Rico

Fire Island

Vermont

Fire Island

Vermont

Fire Island

Astoria

Can't Say I Remember What a Hangover Feels Like

But according to Real Simple Magazine and Rachel Vreeman, M.D., co-author of Don't Swallow Your Gum:

Hangover Cure:

"Eat an egg sandwich on white bread. Experts believe cysteine, an amino acid in eggs, helps break down acetaldehye, a toxin produced when alcohol is in the liver, which can contribute to a hangover. Your body turns refined carbs into energy, hence the white bread."

Roy and Leona in Winter

Altman side of the family tree: Roy and Leona Merryman.

Clarion County, PA. Circa 1910