It was not to be.
Whether you're reluctantly fat (most Americans) or fat on purpose (pregnant), the stores aren't very kind to you when it comes to style. Unless, that is, you're a wealthy reluctantly fat or fat on purpose person and can have designers make you a custom-fit gown.
H&M has a Maternity section called H&M Mama, so I visited their Herald Square location after work. But the selection of dresses was bleak, practically non-existent, rendering a trip for someone lugging around 30 extra pounds a big huge bummer. I did manage to walk out of there with a very nice 3-piece set of maternity basics in a little cotton bag emblazoned on the front with, "Get Started, Mama" consisting of a black tank, belly band, and leggings in an organic cotton mix fabric that is uber soft, stretchy, and comfortable. I see myself living in the leggings for the next few weeks, perhaps indefinitely. A great investment for $29.95, no matter what kind of fat you are.
For tomorrow night's gala, if you stop me on the red carpet and ask me what I'm wearing, I'll say, "Same thing I wore last weekend!" Which is a simple black wrap dress by Liz Lange Maternity for Target which cost about $25. Throw on some bright accessories you haven't seen in awhile, and you know what, bitches? You're gonna love it!