People, Stop Being a Pain in the Ass

1. Dude, travelling is annoying as it is. Can you not put stuff up your ass that doesn't belong there when entering a metal detector? A polished stone and a piece of metal? This "reduces stress"? What about the rest of us who think you've got a bomb up your bunger? That's stress. Do you have polished stones and pieces of metal for everyone in this airport? If not, then don't bring it in at all.
2. Lady, could you not die on a flight and gross us all out the door? Thanks.