Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Trash Man Knows


This morning as I walked to work, a man lifting a huge bag of garbage off the sidewalk into his truck grinned and shouted, "It's a boy, gurrrrl! IT'S A BOY!" It was cute how excited he was about it. A sweet NYC moment.

Clearly the basketball is impossible to hide now. Everyone's got something to say about it.

Yet a few minutes later when I walked through the doors of the subway car I immediately, amazingly, stopped looking pregnant: Not one person offered up their seat. Most of them saw me and quickly closed their eyes to feign a snooze, pulled their hats down over their eyes, or pushed their books up to their faces. Really, fat boy in your 30's, eating Skittles, listening to your iPod and pretending to sleep? You really need that seat? What about those Skittles?

Yesterday, I got aggressive about it. As I waddled to an empty seat, a tall blonde with a Women's Fitness magazine in the crook of her arm bum rushed me for it. I suddenly was 6 years old again and suffering through a game of musical chairs (cruelest kid game ever invented); everyone had a seat but I, nobody needed it more than I, and I can't rush anywhere for anything. I felt like crying. Instead of crying, I tapped the chick who bum rushed me with a "May I sit?" She obliged. As she should've. Doesn't it feel good to help someone out? Not according to Skittle man.

Some people are observant and kind, most are selfish and unaware and totally happy fine with it. C'est la vie; jerks are here to stay.

Let's hope this kid I'm haulin' around isn't a jerk.

9 comments:

Erin said...

It's a girl...I just know it.

love, jenn said...

I'm with the garbage man! And you should have swatted the woman in the nose with her Fitness magazine and shouted NO. NO. (it doesn't work on Ripley but maybe it would work on a different bitch?)

teri said...

People still amaze me with the rudeness they possess.

I like when strangers get excited about pregnant ladies. What a happy moment.

Roo said...

Jerks are born from jerks. Your child will be wonderful.

Jen said...

I think it's a girl too

But she said "the trash man knows"

so now..
hmmmmm

not sure

tell us anne!

Carolyn said...

The kid is not a jerk. I just want it to be healthy. Hahahaha - no one ever means that. They want it to be something. But you would be a good Mom to a boy, and that's pretty rare, I think. Or, I mean, I'm not sure I would know what to do with a boy. Except turn him gay.

Once a woman on the L Train told me to close my legs. I said, "I'm 8 months pregnant." She said, "THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I have some things for you. Call me. I want to see this baby before it comes out of your body!

Just Dave said...

You will have quite an influence as to whether he/she is a jerk or not. The next Hitler? The next Mother Teresa? Awesome reponsibility, isn't it?

Abbi Crutchfield said...

@ Carolyn, LOLOL! That person enjoys a tall glass of lemon juice each morning.

Anne, this is so exciting! Wishing your baby all the breast.

anne altman said...

thank you!