I had to call my credit card company recently to find out my balance. After I navigated around the phone tree and got a real person, the conversation went as follows:
Hi, I'd like to find out what my balance is.
May I ask why?
Excuse me?
May I ask why you'd like to find out your balance?
Um, so I can know what it is?
Oh, okay, I'm just trying to serve you better. You live in New York! I've always wanted to live in New York.
It's a great city.
Yeah, I always wanted to live there. Well, not live there, but I've always wanted to go there and see the Little Mermaid on Broadway. Have you seen it?
Haven't seen it, but I hear it's good. NYC is actually probably a better city to live in than to visit, believe it or not. It's not all Times Square hustle and bustle. We have our little neighborhoods.
All that walking!
That's one of the reasons it's great. We walk everywhere. No fat people here!
Well, I wouldn't say I'm fat, I mean, I'm definitely plus-sized, but...
Oh...well...(ouch)...where do you live? Texas?
No, Missouri.
Oh, ok. Don't know much about Missouri, can't say I've been, but I'm sure it's nice.
I see here your balance is 4 million dollars*. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
No, but thank you.
Thank you for calling Visa!
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*might as well be
2 comments:
"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"Yes, can I have a small green salad with Italian dressing & mozzarella please.
"Would you like sundried tomatoes with that?"
eh, skip the tomatoes. thank you!
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