When We Were Kids We Played With Fire and Snakes

And I can tell you this: nothing kills the 4th of July holiday spirit more than hearing our jackass president compare his War in Iraq to the Revolutionary War. Why do I follow the news? Anyway, other than taking a sober moment to remind ourselves of the ideals in which this country was founded, July 4 festivities are really more for kids. Sure, fireworks are all well and good when you're adult, but unless you're tripping your balls off, they're really never as amazing as you remember them. In fact, this years' Macy's Fireworks Blowganza (tm) supposedly will feature "on the surface" explosions on the East River itself to make things more exciting. But when you are a kid, you don't need those types of pyrotechnics. The excitement of staying up past bedtime and the fact that you could light crap on fire was enough.

I have the best childhood summer memories of July 4th fireworks on beaches and in high school football stadiums, or sitting on the shoulders of my Dad at the Boston Pops, and he'd hold me tighter during the sonic boom style moons which scared the shit out of me (and still do sorta. Hey, they sound like bombs. You know how I feel about war, folks) And on my uncle's boat in the middle of the lake, lying on the bow looking up at the sky with my cousins. My aunt used to let us light the end of jumping jacks and throw them in the water, where they'd spin around bright, red and green, until they sank. Today that would be appropriately called littering.

Remember these things, snakes? Sure, they're kind of lame, but more interesting than sparklers, as far as I'm concerned.