Survey Says: Selma Hayek Has Great Cans

My latest reluctant grocery shop (my first in 6 months: eating is expensive) on Fresh Direct yesterday included some Doodle food. 

I've been too busy and pre-occupied to have enough wet stuff on hand it seems; it always feels like we're down to the last can of Fancy Feast in the cupboard or the last half can of Friskies Meaty Bits in the fridge. 

If I walk into the kitchen, let alone open the refrigerator (or that cupboard) and Doodle hears it, and it's empty, well, I am no short of fucked. 

The 7 lb bitch wants her food, bitches.

You don't think a  7lb anything can be a terrorist? Look. There have been times Doodle has been so relentless, I've had to put my coat back on and walk across the street to the Koreans for Fancy Feast to make the annoying stop. 

But with Recession '09 in full effect, I decided it was time for financial prudence and planning--read: time for me to experiment with the least expensive (read: cheapest) canned wet crap next to dog food for Doodle. She's a picky eater (prefers meaty bits and chunky flesh to pureed clumps) and eats the vet-recommended dry, is in excellent health but she hates that brand's wet stuff---why pay for crap she doesn't eat that I just have to scrape out of the bowl and flick in the garbage days later? 

Why not just give her the Doritos of cat food? Why not give a cat what she wants? Something disgusting? Something not fortified with rice and flavored with basil? Something more akin to eating the ass out of a skunk? 

May I present to you Doodle's New Wet Food Diet in Recession 09:

9 Lives Tuna Select with 95% Real Tuna

And kids? Let me tell you, you don't have to eat it to know it is revolting. 

Unbearably so. 

It doesn't bear much resemblance to "people" tuna, as it's blood red and throbbing, for crying out loud. And what the fuck is the other 5 percent "tuna?"

I almost booted when I opened the can (you pay 20 more cents for the flip top/peel version tins apparently) to dump the hot mess into her bowl. 

Does Doodle like it, you ask?

Please. She can't get enough.

9 Lives Tuna Select with 95% Tuna? Doodle's lovin' it.