TWO CAN ANNE BREAKING NEWS: Osama Bin Laden Reportedly Dead

Oh, and there's something else I wanted to share:

This Post is Brought to You By the Piece of Food on My Tooth

That I'd been sporting for 45 minutes after several chats on several floors with several people...awesome! Just want to remind folks that I'm human, and I eat food with my mouth where my teeth live.

Greetings!

I'd Like a Trampoline, Please

Preferably a mini trampoline. Thank you.

3 Days of Winter as Witnessed from a Conference Room in Paradise

Lower Manhattan Facing South ~ January  7, 2011

Lower Manhattan Facing South ~ January  10, 2011

Lower Manhattan Facing South ~ January 18, 2011

Visible points of interest (particularly in photo #2): Lower Manhattan, entrance to the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel,  Staten Island Ferry, Ellis Island

Yeah, So I'm Probably Going to Order These Checks with Shrek on Them

I guess there's no point in you trying to talk me out of it.

The Friends, Family and Recent Ex-Girlfriend Plan

The Friends, Family and Recent Ex-Girlfriend Plan

If You Like Pretty Pictures

Then you'll like my friend John-Paul. He takes beautiful pictures. Of people, places, things. Name a noun, and he can take a beautiful picture of it. For example, here's a series of shots he took of gnocchi recently. Anyone who can make a lump of potato dough look beautiful is seriously talented. Wonder if I should have him take my picture. Ark ark ark. Get it? I made a joke about myself resembling a lump of potato dough. I'm also seriously talented.

www.jpteutonico.com

IMMUNIZE YOUR BABIES!

If for some reason you're still unsure about vaccinations because an idiot in Hollywood did an excellent job of promoting seriously dangerous fraudulent information from some quack, let me and The New York Times tell you the truth: There is no link between autism and MMR vaccines. Immunize your babies! Vaccinations are at an all time low and the highly contagious and lethal virus of measles is at an all time high because of this jerk. You're protecting not just your child, but the world's children when you immunize them against disease. We are the world, we are the children. Right?

G.L.O.C.'s Typing With One Hand: Anne Altman

It takes a gorgeous lady of comedy to know one, and Glennis McMurray knows plenty.

She's just launched a brand-new blog called just that--G.L.O.C: Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy which celebrates and profiles funny women. I was flattered when she thought of me, of course (someone who had a baby almost ten months ago and still lives in Spanx), and I was more than happy to oblige her with answers to her questions about comedy--and life--after motherhood! Does it exist? This is to be determined. Read the G.L.O.C. interview with me here. And when you're done, check out details for Glennis's solo show, "DISCO BALLS: INTO THE LIGHT--the quest to be fabulousballs" which debuts this month as part of the Charleston Comedy Festival. I haven't seen previews of the show and I'm so square I wouldn't know fabulousballs if they hit me in the face, but i think it's clear that the gorgeous Ms. McMurray has achieved her quest already!

photo by ari scott

Happy 2011!

May this new year bring positive change for everyone. Is something in your life annoying you? Maybe a big thing like your husband? Or a small thing like the paint job in your bathroom? Perhaps this is the year to fix it. Life is short indeed. We should try to improve the tangibles--or at least our outlook--so we can enjoy it more, right? Carpe diem! 100 years goes by in a blip! And four years? Forget about it. Remember when I said 2007 was going to be my year? I don't think it was. Or maybe it was? 2010 was pretty good. What year is it again? Where are we? What's going on? Does anyone love the Bee Gees like I do? I just saw their CD downstairs for sale at Starbucks. Price reduced to $9.99 from $12.99. I tell you what, if I had $9.99 left on the gift card my mother gave me for Christmas after the sandwich I bought with it, I might have "carpe diem-ed" in the form of a new Bee Gees CD. But I do have a ton of crap in the apartment cluttering my life, so perhaps it's best I didn't. Gosh. 2011 is starting out so complicated. Happy New Year, everyone.