If You Like Pretty Pictures

Then you'll like my friend John-Paul. He takes beautiful pictures. Of people, places, things. Name a noun, and he can take a beautiful picture of it. For example, here's a series of shots he took of gnocchi recently. Anyone who can make a lump of potato dough look beautiful is seriously talented. Wonder if I should have him take my picture. Ark ark ark. Get it? I made a joke about myself resembling a lump of potato dough. I'm also seriously talented.

www.jpteutonico.com

I Am This Many Fingers Old

I just Googled "idk" because "idk" what it meant.

My Parents Were Awesome (Yours Were Too)

The other eve on the NBC Nightly News, Brian Williams mentioned a statistic that old people enjoy reading bad news about young people in the media versus good news because it makes them feel good about themselves and boosts their self-esteem. And young people? It turns out they're not interested in reading any news--good or bad-- about old people. Which sounds about right. Youth sells.

In that vein, my hilarious, precious pal (and Mortified alum) Eliot Glazer came up with a delightful concept and created an amazing website and new book (in stores April 2011; available for pre-order on Amazon now.) called My Parents Were Awesome: "Before the fanny packs and Andrea Bocelli concerts, your parents (and grandparents) were once free-wheeling, fashion-forward, and super awesome."

Hard to believe, but true. Now that I'm a parent, I'm aware more than ever that I'll never look younger than I do today (barring any plastic surgery down the line) and I'll most likely not be any "cooler" (clearly I'm already uncool if I'm watching network television's 6:30 p.m. newscast). If I'm lucky to live until I'm old, I'll end up looking like everyone's Mom eventually does, it's how life works. Here's a pic of Brian and Mary on My Parents Were Awesome , submitted by Katrisse:

Brian and Mary (formerly awesome) submitted by Katrisse

Do you have pictures of your parents when they were awesome? I know I do! Send 'em in to myparentswereawesome@gmail.com with your name and the name of those pictured (or submit directly through Tumblr).

And kudos to you, Eliot! I love it!

ATO Ho!

Fraternity Brothers, written by Yannis Pappas
"Three fraternity brothers reunite after ten years. A Ditch Film written by Yannis Pappas directed by Jesse Scaturro starring Louie Katz Ali Wong Rory Scovel & Yannis Pappas"

Mother's Little Helper

I like to keep plenty o' the "appetizing, stimulating tonic" around here. It's "essential at this time."

Ok, This Isn't About Babies But

Death metal version here.

Let's Face It

I'm 3 weeks away from baby, but only seconds away from Pajama Jeans.

Thanks for sending this info my way, A.! I think my readers will benefit from the pajamas you live in/the jeans you sleep in.

Sure, organized society will collapse as a result, but it'll be comfy at first.

October Country

I got out last night to see a documentary I read about in the Village Voice called October Country. I had to see it for so many reasons:

1. I love a documentary


2. October is my favorite month


3. October Country is about the Mohawk Valley in Central New York State, which is where I went to college. I've got a huge heart for that place.


4. The film is about real Americans really struggling. It's tagline? "Every family has its ghosts." Word.


5. The flick has a limited February 12-17 run in Manhattan


6. I've got a limited run on a social life which doesn't include spitup and Elmo

October Country is honest, depressing, beautiful, and though sad and bordering on pathetic as hell, it is often very funny and offers a tiny glimmer of hope. Here's a review in the New York Times by By A. O. Scott.

October Country. Directed by Michael Palmieri and Donal Mosher; director of photography, Mr. Palmieri; produced and edited by Mr. Palmieri; music by Danny Grody, Mr. Mosher, Mr. Palmieri and Kenric Taylor; released by Wishbone Films and Film Circuit International. At the IFC Center, 323 Avenue of the Americas, at Third Street, Greenwich Village. Running time: 1 hour 20 minutes.

Goodfellas Peanuts: Funny, How?

This Sheet Does Work

Got dirty laundry but no time? Check.

Got dirty laundry and no time and dozens of stairs to climb? Check.

Got dirty laundry, no time, dozens of stairs to climb, and no extra hands for bulky products because you're carrying an extra load (pregnant)? CHECK!



Even if you answered two out of three, Purex Complete 3-in-1 is for you; these pre-treated detergent/softener/dryer sheets are phenomenally convenient for the average city kitty, let alone a suburban dweller with the luxury of washer/ dryer in the house.


This Sheet Works - Purex® Complete 3-in-1™ Laundry Sheets





* I don't get paid in cash or with products to endorse stuff, so believe it, yo. This sheet is good.

This Tribe Traveled in 2009

When you're single in this beloved town, you create your own family, and occasionally you and your city kitties need a respite from the hustle and bustle. As I ponder how my life is about to change forever, I present a few images from some memorable and precious escapes I had this year with dear friends. Back when I could take off on a whim, sleep in, still see my toes, cartwheel--let alone walk without a waddle-- and my greatest concern other than the self-doubt which is inherently human was basically, who will care for Doodle while I'm gone and discourage her from taking a revenge dump on my bed?

Puerto Rico

Fire Island

Vermont

Fire Island

Vermont

Fire Island

Astoria

Oh My God

Brandy asked me to go see a play about babies and she sent me a link to the play, Smudge, a "terrifying" dark comedy about babies and parenthood, and though it looks very good, I may be terrified enough. Then she wrote, "Or would you do anything but talk about babies?" and she provided the following link:

Judi Sheppard Misset and the Jazzercisers do a routine to Arthur's theme.

Thank you, Brandy.

You're welcome, everybody.

My Compliments to the Complimenter

It's nice to receive a compliment on your wardrobe from an average-dressed person, but it's a super boost to receive a compliment from an impeccably-dressed person, especially when the complimented is pregnant and feeling silly looking and the complimenter is male.

Generally, I do my best to look as impossibly cute as possible, and these days it takes a little less and yet much more effort, if you will. Since you're carrying extra blood when you're expecting (Gross? Sure!), you've got a natural blush in the face which is where "the glow" comes from. Then there's the fact that you're not losing any hair during pregnancy so it remains thicker and more lustrous and these things combined can make you look younger. I think. But you're also carrying another human, so that makes your body a bizarre shape, naturally, and you waddle like a penguin, and these things combined can make you feel self-conscious. Because people tend to stare at the misshapen penguin woman.

This morning as I waddled onto the elevator, the gentleman who let me on first said, "That is a beautiful cape. Cape, is it? I was behind you as we entered the revolving doors and noticed it."

"Thank you very much. Yes, I suppose it is a cape."

"What kind of pattern is that, is it a wool donegal?"

The man was tall, in his 60's, wearing a lovely wool coat, sharp scarf, and very nice grey classic brimmed hat a la 1950's.

"I don't know what it is technically, but I do know it's an Italian designer..." (It is a beauty, if I don't say so myself. It's a brown mini swing cape with petal fringe on the bottom and the collar. I got it at Syms for a song about 5 years ago, and since it's a swing style, it fits a waddling penguin woman just right)

"....but I really appreciate the compliment, it means a lot. I'm feeling sort of large these days."

"Oh, you've got someone on board? I didn't notice. Congratulations!"

"Thank you! Have a great day, sir."

"You too."

A little elevator exchange like that can make one's day. Or at least get one to their first cup of decaf without scowling. Much.

The Coolest Candy

www.papabubble.com

A friend gave me a gorgeous papabubble candy ring for Christmas*, and not only was it delightful to look at, it was delicious as well. I'd take a picture of it but it's gone to stomachtown now.

* I swiped it off his desk in broad daylight while he watched.

Since he didn't stop me or chase me: gift.

Just in Time

The Metropolitan Museum of Art, NYC ~ December 12, 2009

I got up bright and early this morning to get to the Met to set my peepers on the fascinating exhibition of the amazing Zurich-born photographer, filmmaker and artist Robert Frank, called The Americans.

His collection was everything I'd hoped it would be. The photographer's favorite picture in his series was one taken of a couple on a hill in San Francisco with the cityscape behind them, the expression on their faces described by Frank himself as "You bastard! What are you doing?" a prime example of what it's like oftentimes to be a photographer trying to surreptitiously capture life and being discovered doing so.

I got there ten minutes after the museum opened, which meant that even in this busy holiday season full of NYC visitors, I only had to endure 2 obnoxious pontificators (one of whom talked in such a booming voice he must have believed surely that others must care about his thoughts on the pictures), and two obnoxious biddies who thought this was a great place to catch up and blab about how mohair and cashmere affect their skin differently. Both couples threatened to ruin my experience, but I created my own route to avoid them and enjoyed it thoroughly. Plugging my ears didn't hurt either.

On my way out, the throngs of general population folk arrived just in time for my departure. Long lines snaking themselves at the entrance, coat check, and admissions weren't there just an hour earlier. New York is an amazing city when you know what you're doing.

Hope you're all loving this gorgeous weekend. Doodle and I are.

Them Are Some Funny Lookin' Watermelons, Yo

Smolak Farm, North Andover, MA ~ November, 2008

The Way We Get By: A Documentary About American Troop Greeters

The Way We Get By, a documentary by Aron Gaudet on American troop greeters in Bangor Maine premiered last night on PBS's POV. Initially, I wasn't going to watch it--I try to limit my consumption of war-related media--but I was taken with the movie because it wasn't really about war afterall.

It's about a man and his dog. A woman and her family. A man and his farmhouse. And what these three share: Being old. Greeting the war-weary with warm thanks, coffee, cookies, smokes, and free cell phones to call home the minute they step foot onto US soil at the airport in Bangor. Love. Finding a purpose in life. Reasons to go on living.

I was smitten with Bill Knight, Jerry Mundy and Joan Gaudet (mother of the filmmaker); their lives extraordinary only in their commitment to something other than themselves, and beautiful in a way that the examined ordinary life can be.

Watch The Way We Get By online here (available until December 12, 2009).

Hey! You! Get Mama's Smokes!

Ridiculously cute cousin Patty, circa 1968

Any kid o'mine who don't get me my smokes spends a night in the box.

Jerks in Your Area

Thank Brandy Barber for this link. It's too good to be true.

Beauty Queen Outfits for Sale in Oklahoma City

And did someone say mutual touching with a topless furry guy, train sets and crab meat? Eeeew.

I Never Quite Understood This Craft Until Now

www.subversivecrossstitch.com