Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Dunkin Donuts Guy Knows
Friday, February 26, 2010
I Prefer February Snowflakes
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Trash Man Knows
Yesterday, I got aggressive about it. As I waddled to an empty seat, a tall blonde with a Women's Fitness magazine in the crook of her arm bum rushed me for it. I suddenly was 6 years old again and suffering through a game of musical chairs (cruelest kid game ever invented); everyone had a seat but I, nobody needed it more than I, and I can't rush anywhere for anything. I felt like crying. Instead of crying, I tapped the chick who bum rushed me with a "May I sit?" She obliged. As she should've. Doesn't it feel good to help someone out? Not according to Skittle man.
Some people are observant and kind, most are selfish and unaware and totally happy fine with it. C'est la vie; jerks are here to stay.
Let's hope this kid I'm haulin' around isn't a jerk.
Pajama Jeans vs Maternity Corset?
"An interesting ad showing a rarely seen maternity corset. Although in an age before birth control where women were pregnant for most of their child bearing lives, maternity clothing and especially underwear, was rarely advertised. The drawing of the mother to be, shows her in fashionable envelope combinations with ribbon shoulder straps, high heel slippers and a flowing dressing gown, a far cry from the dowdy clothes most pregnant woman had to wear. Her corset looks to be made from spotted broche and had a fashionable low bust with lace and ribbon trim but still comes down low over the hips.
There is a short front bust pictured on the corset and would have had hook and eye closures below the busk to fasten the bottom of the corset 'skirt'. A large, wide panel is seen on the bottom half of the corset on each side of the busk and bottom opening of the corset, this would have been most likely elastic and would have allowed for the 'bump' to grow and provide support for the mother. The side lacing would also allow for the corset to be adjusted for size as the mother grew bigger."
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Let's Face It
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
In a Google Minute
Cute Then, Cute Now, It's So Very Easy Being Me
Friday, February 19, 2010
The First Winter Olympics
How Will I Send the Kid to College?
Walked that bucket of beans I had on the credenza in my foyer over to the Penny Arcade at TD Bank this morning, and I left with just over $145.00 in paper money.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
- I love a documentary
- October is my favorite month
- October Country is about the Mohawk Valley in Central New York State, which is where I went to college. I've got a huge heart for that place.
- The film is about real Americans really struggling. It's tagline? "Every family has its ghosts." Word.
- The flick has a limited February 12-17 run in Manhattan
- I've got a limited run on a social life which doesn't include spitup and Elmo
October Country is honest, depressing, beautiful, and though sad and bordering on pathetic as hell, it is often very funny and offers a tiny glimmer of hope. Here's a review in the New York Times by By A. O. Scott.
October Country. Directed by Michael Palmieri and Donal Mosher; director of photography, Mr. Palmieri; produced and edited by Mr. Palmieri; music by Danny Grody, Mr. Mosher, Mr. Palmieri and Kenric Taylor; released by Wishbone Films and Film Circuit International. At the IFC Center, 323 Avenue of the Americas, at Third Street, Greenwich Village. Running time: 1 hour 20 minutes.
I'd Would Have Wished You a Happy Presidents Day
- Violent mood swings
- Tearing your undercarriage from "ear to ear"
- Blowing your butt hole out like cauliflower
- Boobs which sprink leaks at random
Prepare for Ash Wednesday Ashes Day
I was startled a few minutes ago, so guess what? It must be Ash Wednesday.
Time for my annual Ash Wednesday: Awkward at the Office Re-Post!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Valentine's Day Ain't Just for Lovers
Me and Whip
Mommy's Side of the Fambly
You're Givin' It? I'm Takin' It
And in the body of the email, he provided this link.
I was confused.
I wrote back, "Are you saying I look like this chick?"
(He couldn't possibly mean I look like this chick. Sure, we both have split ends, but...)
He replied, "What are you nuts/blind. Its you."
Um...Am I nuts? Possibly. Blind? Absolutely not. Is he nuts/blind? In my opinion, clearly.
Regardless, I'm taking his word for it.
Do you believe in magic? In this case I do. I have to.
Monday, February 15, 2010
They Say Not to Judge a Book by Its Haircut
Are You S.A.D.?
Winter Jam with Miss CKC (Carolyn Castiglia), TMC (Tom McCaffrey), Beena Steena (Mara Herron). Shot/Directed/Edited by Anya Garrett. f/ Beatboxing by Andrew Gutterson. Recorded/Mixed by Soce the Elemental Wizard. Beat by YoungFIMusician
Special thanks to Sara Schaefer and Christina Dunham. H/MU: Niketta Scott.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day, Baby!
Brooklyn Decker's Mom Cried When She Saw Her Daughter's Sports Illustrated Cover
Friday, February 12, 2010
Quality Time with Doodle Before Baby
Note to Self
Do not buy more than 2 ready-to-eat avocados at a time. By the time you are ready to eat them, they look ready to eat you.
You're simply not on a fresh avocado time table right now. Just accept it.
Okay? Great. Bye.
You Can Hang It Up When You Make the Times, Right?
Published: February 10, 2010
There should be a word for it in German. The feeling you get when you hear someone read from her long lost diary about her middle school crush. Thursday night, you can revel in that unique form of humiliation at the 92YTribeca where Comedy Below Canal is presenting a heartbreak edition of "Mortified." The show is a comedic "excavation of teen angst artifacts" including journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies and more as shared by their original authors before total strangers. This show is hosted by Anne Altman and features Adam Wade, Jenn Wehrung, Jasmin Singer, Brooke Van Poppelen, Todd Rosenberg, Julia Wright, Boni Joi and Julianna Forlano.
By JULIE BLOOM FORWARD
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Ok Enough With the Non Nonsense Around Here!
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
-Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Mortified NYC! Holiday Heartbreak on Thursday!
Mortified's Heartbreak Holiday Show is featured in The L Magazine this week, so you KNOW it's good! Valentine's Day sucks. Love stinks. Come on out and share the shame!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Friday, February 05, 2010
Remarkably, NYC might get some accumulation. Might. Sure, it's an exciting city where we don't need storms to liven things up, but I enjoy snow. And let's face it, I'm pretty uncomfortable these days (Hell, people are shouting, "Pregnant!" at me on the street), and I need to enjoy stuff while I can. Let it snow.
You Know You're Pregnant When
- Your period stops
- You feel queasy
- You grow a belly
- Something within that belly moves around a la Alien
- Your walk turns into a waddle
- Oh, and most important: A guy passes you on the sidewalk with, "Pregnant!"
Who needs to buy a Clearblue Easy test when you've got that guy tellin' you what time it is?
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Mortified NYC! Heartbreak Holiday Edition One Week Away
Thursday, February 11
Featuring really pathetic teen crap written by the following relatively reasonable grownups:
"A cultural phenomenon!" (Newsweek)
"Captivating!" (Entertainment Weekly)
"Spreading the new gospel of awkward all over the land." (Daily Candy)
"These readings capture just how wrong-headed we can be back when we were teenagers." (This American Life)
"Comic genius! (LAist.com)
"Funny and horrifying" (USA Today Pop Candy)
Mortified is a totally grassroots organization and depends on people like YOU spreading the word. Please pass this on.
Help Three Friends Win a Well-Deserved Award
Direct message from my pal Matt McCarthy (your favorite red-headed Verizon commercial cable guy)
VOTE for FRONTPAGEFILMS.COM for BEST WEBSITE!!"
Then maybe feed an animal for free?
As you were, do gooder!
Too Good to be True
Jon Friedman cracking up the kids with"your mother" jokes. Comix, NYC ~ 1/27/10
Folks "show"ered (and roasted) me and baby-to-be with love last week at Comix for the first-ever comedy co-ed Baby SHOWer that people not only didn't whine about attending beforehand, but raved about for days afterward.
Produced by Jenn Wehrung, Julia Wright, and Brandy Barber.
Special guests included dear peeps Jenn Hyjack, Honi Harlow, Giulia Rozzi, Shawn Hollenbach, Jenny Rubin, Jon Friedman, Leah Dubie, Matt Sears, Katina Corrao and Adam Wade live via satellite (or pre-recorded video, if you want to get technical)! Oh, and there were tremendous cupcakes.
Photos by Jenn Wehrung
Monday, February 01, 2010
Goodfellas Peanuts: Funny, How?
My Wife, Uh
Heh heh. That's still so good. Oh, Tiger.
Tonight: Honi's Hide-a-Way!
Monday, February 1
“Cudzoo & The Fagettes” Band at 8:00 pm
Show at 8:30 pm
Tickets $10 (Say you're a friend of Honi's for $5 tickets)
105 Eldridge Street
New York, NY 10002-4482
Your Host: Honi Harlow
Bella Da Balls
Maddy Mann & Lexi
Plus Special Guests from the cast of "Fetes de la Nuit"
Kris, John, and Alexandria