Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Foulke Off, Yankees!

Photo by Yankee Stadium Bleacher Creature, Anne Altman

Red Sox 14, Yankees 3

Beckett v. Johnson. What a match up. The chants of "Boston Sucks!" in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium started immediately, before the game even started, which is to be expected. I was heckled as I looked for my seat by a Yankee fan who spotted my red bandanna and red shirt and shouted, "If you were in your own park, you'd know where your seat was!"*

You're right, Mr. Rude, Arrogant, Venomous Yankee Fan. Because in my own park, my seats are BOX seats, not BLEACHER seats. Much easier to find. Plus, they serve beer. Jerk.

The Yankee chanting was overpowering for awhile, though Sox fans did pepper the seats in pockets here and there. Sometimes the blue crowd would change it up to "Red Sox Suck!"and then switch back to "Boston Sucks!" Then you didn't hear much of that. At all. Anymore. After A-Rod errored his ass off, and Boston scored 172 more runs, Yankee fans resorted to more unique ways of supporting their team: ripping the Sox cap off another guy's head and throwing it a few feet into the crowd.

"You throw like Damon!" a witness in a Red shirt shouted.

It was cute. He did throw like Damon. Poor thing.

Then the Sox scored 237 more times, and Torre came out to get Ol' Old Unit. Of course, Yankee fans booed the shit out of him, which I thought was mean, but that's how they do. I didn't boo him. I may have even cheered a little. Quietly, of course.

Then the Yankees scored a run I think. And then the Sox scored another 14,000 times. I started cheering "Boston Sucks! Boston Sucks! Boston Sucks! Boston Sucks!" trying to rally the Yankee fans who were left remaining. "Come on, guys! Boston Sucks! Boston sucks!" but they didn't seem interested in their own cheer anymore. Weird.

The only thing more embarrassing than wearing a Yankee hat last night was wearing Knick hat, which some little broad was "sporting"because no doubt she thought she looked cute? Hilarious! A Knick hat? In public?? Oh no she di-iint! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stop it!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Schilling v. Mussina tonight.

Go Sox!

PS I got a great seat on the 4 train home from the Bronx. And there were seats to spare.

PPS When I walked in the door, Doodle was watching the post-game coverage, laughing her ass off:


*The last time I saw Mr. Rude, Arrogant, Venomous Yankee Fan, it was the sixth inning, and he was purple and busting every vein in his face, giving himself an embolism by shouting at a Sox fan 35 rows back something about ripping off his head and shitting down his neck. Now, that's not nice. It's also so very 1990. It was at that point that I was quite glad that the bleachers in Yankee Stadium do not serve beer.

10 comments:

Tanya Kristine said...

no beer? at a baseball game? i dont' get it.

aren't you lucky!!! i went to a mariners game in seattle when the sox came (i'm from maine so that officially allows me to be a full-blooded red sox fan) and ended up getting in a fight with a gaggle of 10 year olds. They were asking for it anyway.

and we won.

whipcreamy said...

i watched from home (boston) and the nesn guys who being hilarious! they pointed out an old man in the crowd who was shaking a white towel and the guys were saying, "we surrender! we surrender!"

Valerie said...

HEEEEEEEEEEEY, that guys has on my Foulke shirt. Only IIIIIIII get to wear those! *sigh*

anne altman said...

valerie, foulke said hi

Valerie said...

I bet he did. ;)

Elizabeth said...

aren't the adjectives "Rude", "Arrogant" and "Venomous" repetitive when placed in front of "Yankee fan"? that's coming from a non-sox, national league fan so clearly it's an unbiased observation.

anne altman said...

and I applaud your observation (even though i'm an american and such an american league fan and recognize no other league)

not really.

well, sort of.

it's a little embarrassing to be an american these days.

Peter Matthes said...

I am a Yankee fan, because I was born in NYC and spent most of my childhood watching Thurman Munson.

However, last night's post game coverage must have been funny to cats. When I got home from my local pizza place, where they were crying in their Yankee hats, my cat Manhattan (pic link below) was laughing her ass off too.

(We all know that cats don't laugh ... they just yawn about every chance they get.)

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=62588911&imageID=619866401&MyToken=96be135a-d095-4c89-9701-42e3a2a9bd82

anne altman said...

untrue! doodle smiles! she howls! doodle hates the yanks! laughing! laughing! a bitter bitter laugh! in fact, i had to tell her to take it easy on the poor slobs.
me. of all people had to tell her to be nice.

couldn't open your link. . .

Peter Matthes said...

http://www.myspace.com/petermatthes

PICTURE #2