BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More beeping. I turn around only to realize that a HUMVEE, an H2 to be exact, is doing the beeping.
I propose the following legislation:
- You are unallowed to drive a Humvee anywhere else but Iraq or another desert.
- If you owned a Humvee prior to this legislation, you are not allowed to beep. Humvee owners get to be Humvee owners, they may not exercise the privilege of exacerbating their obnoxiousness with beeping.
- If you must honk, horn honking is only allowed unless they are alerting someone to their imminent danger. As in: HONK! My brakes are out! HONK HONK! And I can't stop, so you might die! HONK HONK HONK!
- To ensure that honking is used in emergency situations only, all cars and their horns will be wired to the drivers' genitalia and upon use of the horn, an electric shock will be inflicted with each honk.
8 comments:
no this is my kind of post. i HATE the H2 (and H1 and H3) to an unhealthy degree. since people have started buying them in droves to give a big fuck you to the environment in a need to display their bank account, arrogance, and insecurities to all who can't help but see their nasty vehicles, i've said (to anyone who will listen) that they need to go drive them in iraq. hello? that's why we are at war. not for liberation purposes. to STEAL oil to feed americans' need for excess to the 100th power. so you go die fighting for that oil you love to waste so much. then your families can say "at least he died doing something he loved." wait, what's that you say? you don't want to die--you want someone else to die for you? how very.
I hate the assholes who drive with their hazzard lights on whenever it rains. You should never use your hazzard lights when you are driving. Hazzard lights are for when your car is broken-down in the middle of the road or on the the side of the highway so one can alert other drivers that their car is not moving.
People who get caught driving with their hazzard lights on should be pulled from their cars and beaten down in the rain.
Maybe you could bundle my hazzard light proposal with your horn legislation and we can bring it to the Hill.
I only honk my horn when I'm in the handicrapped bathroom.
toooooot tooooot
i think it's time for a little R. Kelly remix ignition. I agree with you all...screw the hummer. You know what pisses me off more than a hummer? A yellow hummer. You know what pisses me off more than a yellow hummer? One of those stretch limosine hummers. oh...and people who have hummers do not neccesarily have a huge bank account...people drive nice cars to appear rich...atleast most people do...men in particular dive large vehicles like hummers to compensate for their lack of a reasonably sized ding dong. can i get a toot toot? how about a beep beep?
when in doubt or in rage, turn to r kelly for some insight.
nothing brightens my afternoon more than bearing witness to a gaggle of girls screaming indecipherable things that end in WOOOOOOOOO!!!! out the sunroof of a Hummer limo.
i like to make eye contact with them and have no expression on my face whatsoever.
It's a little known fact that guys that own Jeeps get more hummers.
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