Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Revelation on My Impeccable Manners

Don't feel so special the next time I hold a door for you. I realized today that I do that and other sorts of nice stuff for people for only two reasons:
  1. I simply can't help the behavior; it was severely beaten into me by good parenting.
  2. It is a total setup to see if you will reciprocate with a "Thank you." If you don't thank me in time, I will let it slam in your face if possible. And, of course, talk shit about you the rest of the day, you know, about what a bitch you are with no manners. Then I'll tell myself that I won't hold the door for you ever again. Until I do. Lather, rinse, repeat.

4 comments:

Peter Matthes said...

My theory is that you are a kind person by nature (Or upbringing). You just pretend to be hard to protect the soft center. Kind of like a human Tootsie Roll pop.

Then again … what do I know?

Elizabeth said...

as long as you don't mean "nice" when you say "kind", then you might be right, peter.

but i am a kind person and when people don't say "thanks" when i hold the door for them, i get mad.

Valerie said...

I do the same exact thing. As a set up though, not cuz I'm nice. :P

Bumpkyn said...

I also hold the door for all people, if they do not say thanks, I bust out with a 'You're welcome'. Yes, it's not nice of me, but it's rude of them to ASSuME that I will just hold it to be nice, I do it for the thank you. They are 2 small words that mean SO much!