About ten years ago, I was on my sofa watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were awaiting a food delivery, perhaps Chinese. I don't remember the name of the movie, but I remember him being pretty into it. Considering the dude, it was something I didn't choose and most likely a drama, something dark and twisted. Like I said, he was pretty into it. At one point, I looked at him and he had his finger in his nose. I know we all have our resting/thinking/in-the-zone faces and habits, and the finger up the nose is a strange one, but as long as it stayed there and didn't come out with...company, I supposed it was...okay.
I guess.
Until, that is, I saw him pick, and flick, a boog, on my carpet. It happened so fast. I was in shock.
Did you just flick a booger on my carpet?
What?
A booger. Did you just flick a booger on my carpet? You just flicked a booger on my carpet!
Oh. Um, yeah. I guess I did.
WHY?
I don't know. I don't what the big deal is.
You don't know what the big deal is? THE BIG DEAL IS THAT YOU JUST PICKED YOUR NOSE AND FLICKED A BOOGER! ON MY CARPET!
I think you're overreacting, Anne. It's only mucus and dust.
It's only mucus and dust?!? What?!? I don't care if it's sugar and fucking spice! Don't flick it on my carpet! Jesus. Jesus!
Minutes later the food arrived. Months later I unloaded the dude.
Bon appetit and bon voyage!
3 comments:
We both know that Boogerade would fly off the shelves.
And the color/colour would be...
Wow. What a dick. Happy New Year!
Hilarious! But how did he stay in your heart after the booger-flicking?!
When you dumped him, did you do a big flick-off? If you didn't, you should have!
Post a Comment