I'd compare my upstairs neighbors to barn animals, but that would be insulting to all barn animals. They're louder, messier, dirtier, and ruder than barn animals, and it's all for shame because they're human (allegedly) and should know better about respect for neighbors, indoor/outdoor voices, indoor/outdoor behavior. The kid was off the wall today. Too much Red Bull, not enough restraints applied, who knows why, but it's bedtime for Bonzo, a-holes. Be parents and tell the kids it's time to turn in. And vacuuming after nine p.m.? Seriously friggin' uncool. It's bullshit.
So, to summarize: They're ugly*, rude, selfish, and completely friggin' dirty, because they're constantly vacuuming. I swear they must have a steady stream of sawdust shooting out of their butt holes or something. Like a family of mobile wood chippers with huge honkin' feet and motor skill dysfunction. Compassion? Nope, you're not going to find it here, people. Not here. Not today.
I've decided a wake up call is in order. What would be more annoying to you, being awoken at 3:30 a.m. or 4:30 a.m.? Or both? Just curious. I have an alarm to set.
*Not relevant to this argument, but true all the same
6 comments:
I think both times might be good.
is there any way to speak to building management?
I'd go for something a little more stylish like a 3:38 and then a 4:52. Do you have any red piggy eyes you can float outside their windows?
4:30 is best. That way, it will probably be too late for them to roll over and get back to sleep. Be careful not to wake others and thus earn the enmity of the entire building. And the red piggy eyes are a great idea-that would keep me awake forever.
Or mystery scratching at the front door in the dead of night. That'd get me outta there.
red piggy eyes! mystery scratching! fantastic!
Actually, there is a way to get rid of them forever. Just call Homeland Security and tell them that you hear them speaking Arabic day and night but sometimes the English words, "Holland tunnel" and "18 wheeler full of dynamite" come through. They will be in Guantanemo by the end of the week.
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