I decided that some provisions from the grocery store would make for a tastier lunch than another hairy apple slice this afternoon. Right? Right! On my way out the door I asked my super and the doorman if they wanted anything while I was out. 9 times out of 10 they will always decline the offer, and when they accept at most it's a coffee or tea here and there, and I'm more than happy to oblige. They're good guys. I always ask my favorite doorman, a jovial Pakastani Muslim who likes a coffee with five sugars if he wants bacon with that. We laugh.
Today, Jorge the superindentent joked, "Yes, as a matter of fact I would like something, I'd like a pastrami sandwich on rye with pickles and a Coke..." See, we had this 22 year old guy who worked as our porter. He sucked. He was fired recently for the second--and final--time. He'd actually respond to people's offers like that. He had noooo problem asking for a five square lunch. And to boot, he did a shitty job. Lazy, late, always hungover, bad attitude, used to smoke the half-smoked butts Jorge had in the ashtray in his office. But Jorge didn't know about the Lemon Cookie Incident.
Once my boyfriend was leaving my place and Lazy Porter was working the door. You know, not opening it for people, talking on his cell phone and watching girls go by. My boyfriend told him he was going to get some coffee.
"Can I get you anything?"
"Um, yeah. Coffee would be good."
"Cream and sugar?"
"Yeah. Light and sweet. And could you also get me these cookies called Lorna Doone? Lemon flavor. They're in a yellow package with green writin'. You can't really get them around here in this neighborhood that I've seen, anyway, you can get them in the Bronx all over the place, but..."
No work ethic and a sick set of hairy apples.
2 comments:
call him lazy but he knows what he wants.
and according to 6F, he wants jewelry. but only if you're not home when he "accepts" it.
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