Thursday, February 12, 2009

F*** My Life: The New Place to Vent in the New Economy

Here's are some excerpts from www.fmylife.com:

Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML
#26983 (13) - 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm by iwantpizza69 - love -
I agree, your life is f***ed (3698) - you deserved that one (435)


Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML
#25767 (15) - 02/11/2009 at 3:04pm by dynomyte - sex -
I agree, your life is f***ed (5113) - you deserved that one (1017)


Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML
#29334 (12) - 02/12/2009 at 12:45am by ardenm - misc -
I agree, your life is f***ed (1240) - you deserved that one (2375)


Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and have sex with me.' He never responded. FML
#21094 (24) - 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm by noneofthesex - sex -
I agree, your life is f***ed (7714) - you deserved that one (1695)


Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML
#18490 (18) - 02/09/2009 at 8:41pm by leelee50 - love -
I agree, your life is f***ed (8677) - you deserved that one (1935)


Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
#18036 (14) - 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm by BearMan - love -
I agree, your life is f***ed (8745) - you deserved that one (672)


Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
#15703 (16) - 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm by YeahWhatOkay - love -
I agree, your life is f***ed (11035) - you deserved that one (668)


Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
#18155 (10) - 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm by TGIkaty - misc -
I agree, your life is f***ed (8659) - you deserved that one (505)


Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
#14117 (10) - 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm by lilzoot - misc -
I agree, your life is f***ed (1240) - you deserved that one (7066)



Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
#30377 (10) - 02/12/2009 at 8:37am by atterz123 - health -
I agree, your life is f***ed (2753) - you deserved that one (332)



Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
#2412 (9) - 01/24/2009 at 5:50am by waitingformyfoodstamps - money -
I agree, your life is f***ed (2802) - you deserved that one (619)


Inspired? Post your own miserable stories, you pathetic slobs. It'll do you good.

www.fmylife.com

3 comments:

Dale said...

Those are nothing short of awesome. I'm not sure if I hope they're all true or not.

love, jenn said...

O M G! I think I have found my new home page... Thanks, Alt!

newbluebaby said...

TUBBY!