Can't Afford the Hamptons? Thank Goodness!

That scene blows anyhow. Come on down and join me and the doll-faced, sassy pants-ed, foul mouthed Sara Jo Allocco for her debut of her new bi-weekly variety show, Summer Share at Fortune Cookie Caberet under Lucky Chengs! All the cool kids are gonna be there. Oh, and it's in your budget: it's free.

The last time I was in the basement of Lucky Cheng's must have been about ten years ago. It was the wee hours of the morning, and I had just finished my bartending shift at sister restaurant Waikiki Wally's next door. As I sipped a nightcap to take in some terrifically terrible karaoke, a drag queen who had just finished her waitressing shift offered me some cocaine off the end of a key.

"No, thanks, but thank you for thinking of me."

"It's okay, honey. You sure? (sniff sniff) Yeah. Somebody just gave it to me. (sniff sniff)"

Uh-huh. No doubt. People just give cocaine out all the time.

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This Summer, not everyone can afford the Hamptons.
So join Comedian Sara Jo Allocco instead and celebrate "Summer Share"
Sizzling hot comedians, Icy cool drink specials, plus Swimmingly cool games, prizes and more! Comedy’s a beach but someone has to host a summertime show.

Summer Share
Fortune Cookie Cabaret (under Lucky Cheng's)
24 First Avenue (btwn 1st & 2nd St)
Every other Thursday* starting May 14th!
7pm
FREE!!

$4 Bottles/$5 Signature Summer Cocktail
Full Bar!

On the 14th we welcome:

Katina Corrao (HBO, Comedy Central)
Jesse Popp (Comedy Central's Premium Blend)
Jay Bois (Psychedelic Knights of Zohar)
Eliot Glazer (UCB)
Baron Vaughn (VH1, MTV, Comedy Central)

Featuring Summer Anthems from your favorite Jersey Shore maestro, DJ Pandemic! (Anthony DeVito)

*Almost every other

Summer in the City: It's Fantastic

Sure, I'd rather be at the lake. But NYC weekends in summer are not to be underestimated. It's a much more relaxed and intimate town this time of year. There is significanly less traffic, noise, crowds*, and I feel like I have the whole sleepy city to myself. Cunts be gone!

Anne's Haiku on the Weekend NYC Exodus

See ya, tools and twats,
Enjoy your Hamptons horseshit!
How 'bout you stay there?


*barring of course, the tourists who take up space gawking at the WTC hole or wandering around Times Square on their way to dinner at Olive Garden after an afternoon at the Hershey's Store.
copyright, all rights reserved 2007, because clearly this is yet another great friggin' poem i wrote; steal it and die