Dumb Dumb Dumb

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

-George Carlin

True Story

Sneezer: Man, I can't stop sneezing! Must be the start of allergy season.

Bystander: Oh, it's today?

Did You Know?

That at T.J. Maxx you get the max for the minimum, minimum price?

True Story

I want to beat the living fuck out of my vacuum cleaner and throw it out the window.

But then I wouldn't have a vacuum cleaner, so...

I will continue to suffer.

Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

True Story

Idiot: You look different.
Me: What?
Idiot: You look better than usual.
Me: Don't talk to me.