71% of Anne's Diet in the New Economy

I've proven one can live for 6 months on a diet of Campbell's Tomato soup and beer alone.

Two Can Anne Poll: Are You Employed?

Yes
24 (72%)

No
9 (27%)



I'm not a math person, but recalling the grades I got in Algebra, Geometry, and Chemistry --report cards which I doctored with surprising success using a basic pencil eraser and exceptional art skills--a 72% is an unacceptable, shitty grounds-for-grounding C freakin' minus.  

Spaghetti-os: What's For Dinner in the New Economy

Open can. Spoon out helping of Spaghettio-s into mouth. Swallow. Repeat.

How you save in the New Economy: Dishes not required. Heating not required. Chewing? Optional, but not required.

Recession '09 Shoe Shoppers: Get Thy Cheap Ass to Payless

It's BOGO time at Payless.

BOGO: Buy One piece of shit pair of shoes Get One pair of piece of shit pair of shoes free! ! !

I know you were always a Stu Weitzman fan and you, well, you've always been a Paul Stuart fan, but this is the new economy, kids. It's plastic shoes from China from now on or no shoes at all.  

Get over it. 

With some sassy espadrilles, that is! 

 

Anyone Reading This Still Employed?

Just checking.

'Cause it's bad. It's bad you know. 



R.L. Burnside, It's Bad You Know.

Too Soon? OMG

Boystown Chicago Has Spoken: Apparently Today is "Lose Your Bush" Day

Shave, wax, laser, shear. Basta, Bush!

It's Official: Goodnight, Bush

The latest Two Can Anne Survey says that 22% of those polled worldwide want to say goodbye to President George W. Bush with a swift kick in the beanbag. Here's how the rest of the folks voted:



high five
0 (0%)
punch in the face
3 (6%)

kick in the beanbag
10 (22%)

big kiss
0 (0%)
double bird
3 (6%)

poo fling
9 (20%)

shoe toss
9 (20%)

dirty look
2 (4%)

awkward half hug
3 (6%)

Irish Goodbye
5 (11%)

Holy Crap Did That Suck or What?

The Official George W. Bush
"Days Left In Office"
Countdown:

0 DAYS
0 Hrs 0 Min 00.0 Sec

Click Here To See BackwardsBush.com and purchase some crappy President Bush crap to remember the crappiest U.S. President the U.S. history. Fire sale!

Wow '09

The Official George W. Bush
"Days Left In Office"
Countdown:


2 DAYS
20 Hrs 20 Min 07.7 Sec

American Express Bill: Paid in Full? In the New Economy?

Believe it! That fat bastard albatross has been hanging around my neck for years and as of three minutes ago, it's over. Basta! I have a confirmation number and everything! New Mantra: Get Out of Debt in Recession 09 with Money Saved By Not Eating Food. The Poverty Diet? Pays big dividends.

If My Mother Had Only Named Me Beyonce

Things would be different.

I just finished a horrendous long overdue project called Sorting Through Piles of Mail Piles on Top of Mail Pile Piles. Stuff to shred, stuff to keep, stuff to toss. The stuff to keep pile had all the "investment" paperwork in it, those statements they send which I've ignored for years because there's like five dollars in the 401k so... what's to look at? Especially NOW. In the new economy. Who looks after not looking for 3 years? A crazy pants person looks. That's who looks.

I'm a crazy pants person.

So I looked.

But not before I poured myself a little Recession 09 cocktail of Canadian Club, the New Unofficial Altman House Whisky (who can afford Irish whiskey in this town anymore?).

I don't recommend it. The opening of the financial statement mail thing. The whiskey is fine. Now, I'm not a mathy person, never was good at the numbers, never will be, but from what I can tell? I'm fucked.

I Can't Believe it's Only 5 More Days

The Official George W. Bush
"Days Left In Office"
Countdown:

5 DAYS
10 Hrs 33 Min 16.5 Sec

Here's a Farewell Kiss, You Dog

Bush getting pegged with couple shoes and an introductory advertisement for Intervention on A&E? It doesn't get any better than this. Although a good old-fashioned, full-on, shoe-ing would be amazing. Only two projectiles sort of leaves you wanting more. 

Two Can Anne's Hot Tips: Where to Invest in the New Economy

Fail safe industries through the New Year and beyond:

• antacid
• Lotto
• booze
• drugs
• cigarettes 
• guns
• hookers
• bombs
• Chinese lessons
• rosaries
• hand baskets
• Moon tickets

Bush Apologizes for His Intelligence Error

Oh, and the recession? He's sorry it's happening.  So, um...take care. Bye. 

Unbelievable. 

OH MY GOD

People Approve of George W. Bush as President

As much as they approve of a steaming pile of poo.

"The CNN/Research Corp. said that 76 percent of Americans disapprove of Bush's job performance..."


Way to go, Bush, you've done a heck of a job! I mean, I knew you were going to be good at being terrible, but even I underestimated how much you'd suck. You seriously killed it, yo! You were like, super sonically successful at hit-it out-of-the park horrible!

Goodnight, Bush by Origen & Golan.

Lee Greenwood Has Spoken: Viva Obama

Lee Greenwood, God Bless the USA, 1985

America might have its problems (totes), but you know it's way better than China, dude.  

TWO CAN ANNE 2008 Election Results Live Coverage

Here's a picture I took via satellite while I was in line voting this morning at Public School 116 in Manhattan.

Click on the image for maximum detail.

11/4/08 -Election Day in Murray Hill, NYC
www.ps116nyc.com