Monday, November 06, 2006

I Threw My Alarm Clock Away

Why? Because I read an article that bed bugs can live in alarm clocks, and I was paranoid there were bed bugs living in it. No, no acid was consumed. No, I have no proof of bed bugs.

And now I have no alarm clock.

It was my favorite kind, the Sony Dream Machine. A little square white one. Now my alarm clock consists of my cell phone which I can't figure out how to take off of vibrate, so in order for me to hear it in the morning, I put the phone in an empty coffee can right beside my bed. For maximum shaky tin can soundy maky.

It goes without saying that these are pathetic and dark days over here at Two Can Anne*. And it has nothing to do with Daylight Savings Time. How am I supposed to impress those people I went to high school with if I'm publicly admitting the details of my tin can alarm clock on the information superhighway?

With a letter. I'll sit right down and write them all a letter:

Dear Former High School A-Holes Who Think You're So Great Now 'Cause You've Got a Life,

Something is terrible about your life, you know it, and it's worse than my tin can alarm clock.

So, suck it.

Thanks.

Bye.

Love,

Anne

*Another good title for this post could be called, "If You Don't Like the Way Shit is Going in Your Life, Do Something: Sit Back and Whine About It--Or, Make a Tin Can Alarm Clock"

9 comments:

Mel said...

You should patent that tin can alarm method!

Bedbugs can live in your alarm clock??? See, this is why I keep coming back here, to learn new stuff. I had no idea!

vincentblackshadow said...

Sounds like an ideal Xmas present, how much do they cost? What colours do they come in, can I get them in the UK or do I have to ship them over.

Mel is right, learning is fun.

Fargrave said...

Hold down the * key on your phone until it goes to "normal mode."

Sans Pantaloons said...

Anne, why didn't you put the alarm clock in the coffee can? With the lid on and a few small holes up top, no bugs would get in or out.
Does this mean the bugs who may have been living in the Dream are now nomads looking for a new home?
Are they planning revenge?

A bug without a dream is a maniac bug.

anne altman said...

i suppose so, nomads in a staten island land fill. . .

matt said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
matt said...

Can bed bugs get in cell phones?

Your gonna grow so paranoid of electronics that you end up with a Rube Goldberg contraption waking you up by dumping water on your head.

Creepy said...

Good point -- if bed bugs can get into alarm clocks why not cell phones? Or any other appliance for that matter.

Bumpkyn said...

hold the * key down and it will work, except now my alarm only rings once then stops. Stupid phones.