Thursday, December 28, 2006

Her Sweet Sixteen

If you've never seen My Sweet Sixteen on MTV and you want to keep it that way, let me give you the synopsis of every episode I've ever seen (3).

  1. The 16 year old-to-be is terrible.
  2. She usually excels at school or sports but that's not required for parental spoilage.
  3. She's given the credit card for a no holds barred shopping spree with her friends.
  4. She is sometimes heinous looking or husky and finding that dress can be tough. A few dresses are purchased for costume changes throughout the night.
  5. The giving out of the invitations at school is a fun time humiliating exercise for all.
  6. She makes sure to repeat several times that the party will be the best ever, and it will go down in history as being the best party ever.
  7. She usually has a professional photo shoot with slutty poses.
  8. She goes shopping with her Dad for a car, sits in several BMWs, he says "Don't get your hopes up, there's a 50/50 chance..." and she walks out with a pout on her face.
  9. She learns some dance moves and hires dancers or other themed performers and tries to secure a celebrity for the party.
  10. Hair and makeup done professionally, usually there is some crying about the hair.
  11. She makes her entrance and the kids whoop and holler and it's awkward and her name is up in lights somewhere
  12. More awkward teen crap including dancing and shouting into the camera about what a cool party it is
  13. Kids without an invitation (including other schools) show up and try to get in the party and Sweet Sixteen and her entourage (including her mother) tell them to go away, they don't know them, and they're not dressed well enough for entrance.
  14. Dad comes out to make a speech about the car he bought for his daughter, will point to an "old beater" (like a 2002 Volvo) which is parked outside and everyone sighs and frowns, then Dad parts the seas of kids to reveal the real vehicle, the BMW with a huge bow on it.
  15. The end is disappointing because she doesn't get murdered.

There you go.

7 comments:

Teri said...

GOD, I hate this show all the girls and guys are so incredibly spoiled and obnoxious I would to beat their heads in.

Just Dave said...

Eventually. some Crips are going to show up to crash the party and heist the bling, wiping out the whole party. That will be the episode I will watch over and over.

newbluebaby said...

Just reading that made me sick.

It's what's wrong with the world, right there.



It reminds me of the time I was asked to leave Anne's sweet 16 party because I was a terrible magician.

anne altman said...

NO, you were asked to leave for another reason, and being a minor at the time your records are sealed so i'll leave it at that

matt said...

I spent all day paint-balling dogs when I turned 16. I think there's a show somewhere in that.

whipcreamy said...

anne's sweet sixteen party included a cake with prince on it. his face was chocolate.

anne altman said...

paintballing dogs: wicked mean

definitely a show in that.