Thank goodness! Just think, less than a month ago, Ted Haggard loved crystal meth and paying gay men for oily massages and the chance to play with their ding dongs in the cover of darkness. Now he's all about his wife, kids, and minivan. Oh, and Jesus. Phew! Too good to be true? I think not. Are you kidding me? I'm totally going through the sofa and collecting spare change to check into this magical rehab place too. See you in three weeks when I'm discharged as an old-monied heiress who's a dead ringer for Grace Kelly. Can't wait!
Now the Haggards say they're moving to either Missouri or Iowa. For fresh air? Or perhaps "where there are no gays" to trigger a setback? They could always move to Albania; I met an Albanian broad a couple years ago who told me there were no gays in Albania. Good luck, Ted!
7 comments:
He should probably move to Iceland where they just don't give a shit one way or the other. Oh, and there are no gays in Albania because they execute them. Or so I hear.
The irony is that they cured his gay with stem-cells...
Albanian gays? You mean all white with pink eyes?
Albania! Albania! You border on the Adriatic!
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Con men don't need luck.
These guys give religion a bad name.
He decided he wanted to move to Missouri after they showed "Deliverence" in rehab.
He may be completely hetero, but I bet he's still way into looking at gay porn.
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