You're Givin' It? I'm Takin' It

An extremely handsome man I know sent me an email this morning with the subject line, "I did not know that you starred in Inglorious Basterds."

And in the body of the email, he provided this link.

I was confused.

I wrote back, "Are you saying I look like this chick?"

(He couldn't possibly mean I look like this chick. Sure, we both have split ends, but...)

He replied, "What are you nuts/blind. Its you."

Um...Am I nuts? Possibly. Blind? Absolutely not. Is he nuts/blind? In my opinion, clearly.

Regardless, I'm taking his word for it.

Do you believe in magic? In this case I do. I have to.

They Say Not to Judge a Book by Its Haircut

Amy Bishop

AP Photo/Huntsville Police Dept

But... come on. This book is crazy.

Are You S.A.D.?

My peeps are. Are you also spending too much time on your Netflix cue? Check out their amazing Winter Jam, S.A.D., and you won't feel so alone. Spring is right around the corner, yo. Trust.




Winter Jam with Miss CKC (Carolyn Castiglia), TMC (Tom McCaffrey), Beena Steena (Mara Herron). Shot/Directed/Edited by Anya Garrett. f/ Beatboxing by Andrew Gutterson. Recorded/Mixed by Soce the Elemental Wizard. Beat by YoungFIMusician

Special thanks to Sara Schaefer and Christina Dunham. H/MU: Niketta Scott.

Happy Valentine's Day, Baby!

1905

Brooklyn Decker's Mom Cried When She Saw Her Daughter's Sports Illustrated Cover

I cried too; my pregnancy and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue are poorly timed.

8 months in, one to go? Whale watch!

Quality Time with Doodle Before Baby

An oldie but a goodie

Anne & Doodle ~ NYC, Summer, 2007

Note to Self

Dear Anne,

Do not buy more than 2 ready-to-eat avocados at a time. By the time you are ready to eat them, they look ready to eat you.

You're simply not on a fresh avocado time table right now. Just accept it.

Okay? Great. Bye.

Anne

You Can Hang It Up When You Make the Times, Right?

UrbanEye

COMEDY

My So-Called Life

Published: February 10, 2010

There should be a word for it in German. The feeling you get when you hear someone read from her long lost diary about her middle school crush. Thursday night, you can revel in that unique form of humiliation at the 92YTribeca where Comedy Below Canal is presenting a heartbreak edition of "Mortified." The show is a comedic "excavation of teen angst artifacts" including journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies and more as shared by their original authors before total strangers. This show is hosted by Anne Altman and features Adam Wade, Jenn Wehrung, Jasmin Singer, Brooke Van Poppelen, Todd Rosenberg, Julia Wright, Boni Joi and Julianna Forlano.

By JULIE BLOOM FORWARD

NYTimes.com UrbanEye

Cookie Monster

A tin of these fine cookies made their way into my desk drawer. And four of these fine cookies just made their way out of the drawer and into my pie hole. I like these cookies. Cookies dangerous.

Inexpensive, delicious, ridiculously underrated. Get them away from me.

Royal Dansk Danish Butter Cookies.

Ok Enough With the Non Nonsense Around Here!

This is the kind of stuff that makes me laugh.

Unlike over-forecasty, headline-deprived, alarmist weather forecasters, which make me annoyed. This is the second "SNOWSTORM OF THE CENTURY" for Manhattan in less than a week with predictions of a foot (or more!) and there's nary an inch of snow on the ground. Get a life.

Subway Art ~ E Train @ 50th Street, Monday, February 8, 2010

No Kidding

"Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where they hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it--the same night, as a matter of fact."

-Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

Mortified NYC! Holiday Heartbreak on Thursday!

Mortified's Heartbreak Holiday Show is featured in The L Magazine this week, so you KNOW it's good! Valentine's Day sucks. Love stinks. Come on out and share the shame!

Thursday, February 11, 2010
9 pm
92YTribeca
$15
http://www.getmortified.com/

Got Storm?

Remarkably, NYC might get some accumulation. Might. Sure, it's an exciting city where we don't need storms to liven things up, but I enjoy snow. And let's face it, I'm pretty uncomfortable these days (Hell, people are shouting, "Pregnant!" at me on the street), and I need to enjoy stuff while I can. Let it snow.

You Know You're Pregnant When

1. Your period stops
2. You feel queasy
3. You grow a belly
4. Something within that belly moves around a la Alien
5. Your walk turns into a waddle
6. Oh, and most important: A guy passes you on the sidewalk with, "Pregnant!"

True!

Who needs to buy a Clearblue Easy test when you've got that guy tellin' you what time it is?

Mortified NYC! Heartbreak Holiday Edition One Week Away

MORTIFIED!

The Heartbreak Holiday Edition
Thursday, February 11

@ the 92YTribeca
9PM
$15
92ytribeca.org

Produced by Anne Altman and Julia Wright.

Featuring really pathetic teen crap written by the following relatively reasonable grownups:

Brooke Van Poppelen, Jenn Wehrung, Adam Wade, Todd Rosenberg, Jasmin Singer, Boni Joi and more!

WHO LIKE-LIKES MORTIFIED:
"A cultural phenomenon!" (Newsweek)
"Captivating!" (Entertainment Weekly)
"Spreading the new gospel of awkward all over the land." (Daily Candy)
"These readings capture just how wrong-headed we can be back when we were teenagers." (This American Life)
"Comic genius! (LAist.com)
"Funny and horrifying" (USA Today Pop Candy)
Mortified is a totally grassroots organization and depends on people like YOU spreading the word. Please pass this on.

Help Three Friends Win a Well-Deserved Award

Direct message from my pal Matt McCarthy (your favorite red-headed Verizon commercial cable guy)

"HEY!

www.ecnyawards.com

VOTE for FRONTPAGEFILMS.COM for BEST WEBSITE!!"

Then maybe feed an animal for free?

As you were, do gooder!

Too Good to be True

Cupcakes topped with not just vanilla babies but chocolate as well (or Latino babies, as the package read, apparently). Comix, NYC ~ 1/27/10

Jon Friedman cracking up the kids with"your mother" jokes. Comix, NYC ~ 1/27/10

Folks "show"ered (and roasted) me and baby-to-be with love last week at Comix for the first-ever comedy co-ed Baby SHOWer that people not only didn't whine about attending beforehand, but raved about for days afterward.

Produced by Jenn Wehrung, Julia Wright, and Brandy Barber.

Special guests included dear peeps Jenn Hyjack, Honi Harlow, Giulia Rozzi, Shawn Hollenbach, Jenny Rubin, Jon Friedman, Leah Dubie, Matt Sears, Katina Corrao and Adam Wade live via satellite (or pre-recorded video, if you want to get technical)! Oh, and there were tremendous cupcakes.

Photos by Jenn Wehrung

Goodfellas Peanuts: Funny, How?

My Wife, Uh

"My wife went through my phone, and, uh, may be calling you."


Heh heh. That's still so good. Oh, Tiger.

Tonight: Honi's Hide-a-Way!

Honi Harlow’s Hide-a-Way
Monday, February 1

“Cudzoo & The Fagettes” Band at 8:00 pm
Show at 8:30 pm
Tickets $10 (Say you're a friend of Honi's for $5 tickets)

@ Fontana’s

105 Eldridge Street
New York, NY 10002-4482
(212) 334-6740


Your Host: Honi Harlow

Your Stars:
Bunny Love
Jo Boobs
Creamy Stevens
Dame Cuchifrita
Bella Da Balls
Rob Davis
Maddy Mann & Lexi
Erica Bradshaw
Justine
Jenn Hyjack

Plus Special Guests from the cast of "Fetes de la Nuit"
Kris, John, and Alexandria