Commuter Madness

People outside of the city need to realize that just because New Yorkers don't drive cars, we do suffer our own form of road rage. In my case, since I walk to and from work, it's sidewalk rage. I walk fast. I speed. I tail people. And if you cut me off, I'll speed up. You want to race me? I'll win. Beat it fatties, twats in high heels, old people, babies, all of you and any of you--move over. I'm in the left lane, I'm in the bus lane, I'll do the bob and weave pass around you in the right lane if I have to, whatever it takes. I think it's cute that you think you have a chance, but I'll fucking house you.

I noticed tonight that I see more ugly people on my way to work than on my way home from work.

Curious.

The people I see in the morning? Some of them are so rough, it'll take your breath away. So jarring that you have to shake it off. So ugly that you'll actually mutter something to yourself like, 'Holy Shit, that person has got it BAD. Wow, is that an ugly motherfucking person. Did I see what I think I just saw? Jesus Christ. I did. Bbbrrrrrllllllwwww. I just got a chill. Whoa."

I did see several people with unusually sized head to body ratios, however.

If you had the choice of

1. small head on big body
2. big head on small body

What would it be?