Saturday, June 10, 2006

I Dreamt I Had An Extra Room

New York City apartments are small, yes. Generally we have too much stuff, yes. But I must really have too much stuff, because at least 3 times a year, I will have a dream where I "discover" a room which I "hadn't noticed" existed, and it remained empty, behind a hidden door, just waiting to be found and then crammed with crap.

The dreams are so vivid and so detailed, that even I know it's totally implausible while I'm sleeping, that I'll edit the "hidden room discovery" to more realistic proportions before I wake. For example, this hidden space I didn't realize was the size of a gigantic loft apartment that had 3 bedrooms, a long hallway that led to a back door outside entrance on a river, with a view of Yankee Stadium.

I'm tossing and turning, totally psyched and surprised that something this valuable could have gone unseen for so long, that I begin to doubt my own dream. The doubting didn't happen until I dropped a frisbee or a kite in the river and a guy who rescued it for me wanted my number, but I had that problem where I couldn't remember my number, because it was a dream for chrissakes, and it looked as if I was giving him a fake number even though I should have, because I totally didn't want to go out with him but do believe that giving a fake number is mean.

I am a prisoner of my own bleeding fucking heart.

So once inside, I realize to myself "This dream has to be horseshit, because it's one thing to not know about the extra room/s, but to forget about the backyard and "magical river" and Yankee Stadium is like, totally ridiculous. I mean, I'm not even a Yankee fan, but I would think that this would have been awesome.

So I says to myself I says, "Anne, this is ridiculous. There's not a chance in hell that you took a nap after the cable guy almost raped you only to realize that you have hit the real estate jackpot."

So I convinced myself it was just that long hallway with storage space and one small bedroom that I didn't know about.

Until my phone rang. It was my ex-boyfriend who read my post from this afternoon and was concerned that I had been assaulted/raped/and/or/killed by the cable man. Still asleep when answered I opened my eyes and realized that I was in the same completely adequate if not on the larger sized bedroom that I've had for the last ten years.

The secret garden does not exist.

Sigh.

At least my cable has been fixed without me requiring to fix my attacker a peanut butter sandwich on a whole wheat pita and no beverage.

Thank goodness for the little things.

12 comments:

@alyssa ettinger said...

anne, except for thinking i had to be wrong, etc., i have had this dream more times than i can count. often, about old apartments. and i'm talking HUGE rooms, sometimes up stairs with extra entrances.

what the hell does this mean?

anne altman said...

it means we are crushed by our numerous things and we long for wide open spaces.

no dream decoder necessary.

time for a yard sale and a vacation in the country.

@alyssa ettinger said...

i was thinking that it meant if we looked hard enough there were new paces to find and see within our own lines, so not to be confined by the walls within we live.

anne altman said...

um, that's cute. but...no.



not in my case anyway. i needs me a yard sale.

and a lot of other shit but mainly a yard sale.

Catie said...

Hmmm, possibly I should rethink my dream of "a cute little apartment", however this 3 bedroom house (4 if you count the one in the basement) is about to suck the life out of me!

Peter Matthes said...

The cable guy ... he delivers.

Some NYC apartments are small, but you live in the center of the universe.

If you lived with a view of Yankee Stadium, your ex-boyfriend would have to save you from rapists on a daily basis.

Berry said...

Goddammit I've just lost one of my biggest delusions!!! (sigh)

Yeah, yeah... I've had that dream too. Only in my dream, I discover a whole friggin' estate behind a closed door!! No kidding... tons of rooms and hallways and grand foyers. For years I've been thinking it was actually a clairvoyant glimpse into my future. But now that I know it's just a commoner's dream, well... I'm crushed.

Fargrave said...

I love the sandwich mention. That cracked me up!

anne altman said...

if it was up your ass, you'd know where it was, corey!

(i just love saying that at every opportunity. don't take offense.)

Unknown said...

At least you know your ex still reads your stuff..that counts for something I guess..what I don't know :p

You folks that live in the big city in little boxes always want more space..suck it up and deal :p

Bumpkyn said...

Sorry, I've had it too, for years, except it's never my house, it's always this house my parents own. We never realized how much extra space we had. All 7 of us kids had our own rooms, with rooms to spare....hummmmm maybe I am just resentful of always having to share my space?? Something to think about.....

Maulleigh said...

I have had that dream on numerous occassions myself!! Jung would have a field day with this one. There would be a sub basement, or a patio. Definately another bathroom with a lily pond. Oh, to have the apartment of my dreams.