Stuff People Say

I just overheard someone in my office say on the telephone "You're flying off the seat of your pants." But she said it like Long Island like, so it was more "Yawh floying awff the seat of yawh pants." Either way it's funny. I suppose you could fly off the seat off your pants, considering I've never actually seen anyone fly by the seat of their pants, but whatevs.

The funniest thing I've heard in a long time however, was a month ago outside Yankee Stadium when I was in alone in line for the Bleacher entrance. It was a huge game because they were playing the Red Sox. And the line was forever, and it wasn't moving anywhere. I made friends with the people behind me, two huge Hispanic dudes in Yankee gear and behind them, their two little blonde girlfriends wearing Red Sox pride. So, being the jovial delight that I am, I started chatting them up.

Alright, maybe less that I'm jovial and more that I wanted to align myself with some fellow Red Sox fans and their huge Puerto Rican Yankee fan boyfriends so they'd be my bodyguards too and prevent me from getting an ass kicking. The one girl said, "We better win tonight."

And then the other one said, "Oh, man, if we don't win tonight, I'm gonna walk out of here with my head between my legs. "

What?

Turns out we did win, so she didn't have to stuff her head in her own crotch. Thank goodness for that!