#4D? Your Proactiv is here. I saw it in the lobby next to the box containing my new air conditioner. Good luck with the zits; I'll keep you posted on my climate control.
When I was asked to sublet a room in a co-worker’s apt I thought, “PERFECT”!!! I was desperate to find a living situation and I really liked my colleague. The apt also came with another roommate – lets name her Terry!
From the beginning Terry was not pleased to have me around. I had become a “threat” to their coveted apt since I was there illegally. Meaning… as per their lease agreement: no subleasing. However, that is something she failed to tell her roommate and best friend prior to her departure abroad. The good thing about this living situation was that the apt was big and I kept to myself in my room. I really had no use for their living room or her bathroom as I had TV/Cable in mine and access to a different bathroom. It also helped that Terry spent all her weekends at the Jersey Shore. Basically we rarely saw each other. Nevertheless, when she was around she made my life a living nightmare. Telling me I couldn’t receive my mail, have a friend over, or come in to the building using my own set of keys.
I specifically loved the time when she went away for a week and called me at work from the airport asking me to please go home and turn off her flat iron because she had forgotten to turn it off. To make the situation even better, the flatiron was in her room which she had locked. Hmmmm I thought…why would she lock the door? It’s not like we were strangers in the apt….well maybe me but hardly. “Oh I always lock my door when I’m going out of town just in case the maintenance man comes in”. After telling me about her secret hideout I went home, turned off the flatiron and placed the key back in the pocket of some ugly jacket in the hall closet. I shared the story with my co-worker. Interestingly enough, Terry NEVER locked her door, and furthermore the maintenance man rarely comes in especially without advising them first. “Oh by the way Terry is a crazy liar”, said my co-worker. OH that dirty little whore…she had locked the door in fear that I would go through her room!!! That pissed me off! I would never do such a thing but since she had locked the door then perhaps I would snoop a little….clearly she had something to hide or perhaps I just wanted to make her efforts a little more valid. So you’re wondering what I found??? A few naked pictures of her ugly boyfriend, a bottle of TRIMSPA, pathetic letters to some boy (not the boyfriend) asking for an explanation of why he didn’t love her etc...and a vibrator. CLASSIC!
I won’t bore you with all the other petty crap but let’s just say it got pretty unbearable. It didn’t help that she would talk trash and make up lies about me to my co-worker and the roommate whose room I was occupying. I would get these extensive emails from my sublessor saying for me not to worry about it that Terry was CRAZY, but after awhile I couldn’t take the backstabbing any longer. I had to get the fuck out.
Lucky for me I found an apt and began the moving process. I had moved all of my stuff out but still needed to get my bed out of storage. I had arranged with my co-worker and the sublessor that I would spend one more night at the apt until I could get my bed. After a long night I came home with my boyfriend only to find Terry in her underwear and t-shirt ironing as her ugly boyfriend laid in bed. She had moved in to my room!!!!!! I was very calm and told her that I was staying there that night. She flipped. Told me I had to get out otherwise she would call the cops. We got in each other’s faces and did your typical bitch calling. I did come very close to hitting her in the face but then I thought …. You know what?? This is not worth it. So my boyfriend and I went outside to hail a cab. As we’re standing outside I had the urge to pee. I knew it would be a long time before we got back to his place. “I’m going back in to pee”. As I mentioned before, Terry had her own bathroom, which although I was a little skeeved by it, I thought it would only be appropriate. As I approached the toilet, I noticed a bottle of TIDE. AHA!!!!I So I began pissing in the bottle of TIDE. But that is when I looked up and saw the Proactiv face wash. It couldn’t get any better than that. My urine might actually do her face some good. It was a good thing I had been drinking that night because I had plenty of liquid to discard. That may have been the most satisfying piss I’ve ever taken!
6 comments:
my friend pissed in her roommate's proactiv.
I must know: Why????????
something along the lines of her roommate being a bitch? i can get the story from her again....
ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.....
When I was asked to sublet a room in a co-worker’s apt I thought, “PERFECT”!!!
I was desperate to find a living situation and I really liked my colleague. The apt also came with another roommate – lets name her Terry!
From the beginning Terry was not pleased to have me around. I had become a “threat” to their coveted apt since I was there illegally. Meaning… as per their lease agreement: no subleasing. However, that is something she failed to tell her roommate and best friend prior to her departure abroad. The good thing about this living situation was that the apt was big and I kept to myself in my room. I really had no use for their living room or her bathroom as I had TV/Cable in mine and access to a different bathroom. It also helped that Terry spent all her weekends at the Jersey Shore. Basically we rarely saw each other. Nevertheless, when she was around she made my life a living nightmare. Telling me I couldn’t receive my mail, have a friend over, or come in to the building using my own set of keys.
I specifically loved the time when she went away for a week and called me at work from the airport asking me to please go home and turn off her flat iron because she had forgotten to turn it off. To make the situation even better, the flatiron was in her room which she had locked. Hmmmm I thought…why would she lock the door? It’s not like we were strangers in the apt….well maybe me but hardly. “Oh I always lock my door when I’m going out of town just in case the maintenance man comes in”. After telling me about her secret hideout I went home, turned off the flatiron and placed the key back in the pocket of some ugly jacket in the hall closet. I shared the story with my co-worker. Interestingly enough, Terry NEVER locked her door, and furthermore the maintenance man rarely comes in especially without advising them first. “Oh by the way Terry is a crazy liar”, said my co-worker. OH that dirty little whore…she had locked the door in fear that I would go through her room!!! That pissed me off! I would never do such a thing but since she had locked the door then perhaps I would snoop a little….clearly she had something to hide or perhaps I just wanted to make her efforts a little more valid. So you’re wondering what I found??? A few naked pictures of her ugly boyfriend, a bottle of TRIMSPA, pathetic letters to some boy (not the boyfriend) asking for an explanation of why he didn’t love her etc...and a vibrator. CLASSIC!
I won’t bore you with all the other petty crap but let’s just say it got pretty unbearable. It didn’t help that she would talk trash and make up lies about me to my co-worker and the roommate whose room I was occupying. I would get these extensive emails from my sublessor saying for me not to worry about it that Terry was CRAZY, but after awhile I couldn’t take the backstabbing any longer. I had to get the fuck out.
Lucky for me I found an apt and began the moving process. I had moved all of my stuff out but still needed to get my bed out of storage. I had arranged with my co-worker and the sublessor that I would spend one more night at the apt until I could get my bed. After a long night I came home with my boyfriend only to find Terry in her underwear and t-shirt ironing as her ugly boyfriend laid in bed. She had moved in to my room!!!!!! I was very calm and told her that I was staying there that night. She flipped. Told me I had to get out otherwise she would call the cops. We got in each other’s faces and did your typical bitch calling. I did come very close to hitting her in the face but then I thought …. You know what?? This is not worth it. So my boyfriend and I went outside to hail a cab.
As we’re standing outside I had the urge to pee. I knew it would be a long time before we got back to his place. “I’m going back in to pee”. As I mentioned before, Terry had her own bathroom, which although I was a little skeeved by it, I thought it would only be appropriate. As I approached the toilet, I noticed a bottle of TIDE. AHA!!!!I So I began pissing in the bottle of TIDE. But that is when I looked up and saw the Proactiv face wash. It couldn’t get any better than that. My urine might actually do her face some good. It was a good thing I had been drinking that night because I had plenty of liquid to discard. That may have been the most satisfying piss I’ve ever taken!
I'm sorry, Pissed, I've changed my ways......... : )
WOW.
nice recap, pissy!
i enjoyed it.
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