Monday, August 20, 2007

Future Rapists of America

Yes, it should be criminal. Not that it would solve anything, as the prison system and therapy can't save these people from their twisted DNA, but at least these monsters will be called out sooner than later as they torture animals and molest people. Hell, if I had a nickel for each unwanted grab a poor girl in the history of the world has had to suffer by a boy, I'd be sitting on a pile of FU money encrusted in diamonds and it'd be pokin' me in the ass a thousand billion miles high times a million. Please. For a girl, the whole Sand in the Face in the Sandbox Experience in Junior High for a girl, at least this one, quickly turns into the

  1. Having Your Cans Groped When You're at Your Locker in an "Innocent Shove"
  2. Enduring Spitballs the Size of Grapefruits Landing on Your Desk in Math Class for Your Attention
  3. Being Thrown off of the Dock on the first day of Sailing Class by Danny _______ (you know who you are)
  4. And all Because?
  5. Oh, he likes you!
  6. So said Brett, in a passed note to me in French Class one Monday. A note which I still have. I had a crush on Brett, afterall.
  7. Gross! Boys!
  8. Not Brett! He's not gross. He'd never do that.
  9. Oh, Brett. Where are you now?

Testosterone. Good grief. With all the advances in techonology these days, do we really still need it? Really? I mean, other than hitting a lot of home runs and beating your wife and stuff.


Peter Matthes said...

I heard that both parties had come to an "out of court" agreement where both boys would have to endure the spankings of a gauntlet of young girls.

On the other hand ... would that really be a punishment for them?

Del-V said...

I hate how Fox News blames "Jackass" for these kids behavior. It is society's scapegoat. Every time a kid molests a girl, it's Jackass' fault. Every time some kid tries to jump a dirt bike over a pool of acid, it's Jackass' fault. Every time a kid staples his scrotum to a moving car, it's Jackass' fault.

Stop blaming others for your stupid kids and start blaming yourself!

Creepy said...

I agree with your condemnation of sexual harassment/assault/abuse, but spitballs? You've crossed the line there, missy.

And people have been doing stupid, idotic things forever. Lighting farts didn't start when 'Jackass' came along.