Two Can Anne: Your Go To Source for Classy Information You Need Right Now

3 Nov 11:26:59 PM www.google.com good things to say to a douchebag

4 Nov 02:47:26 AM www.google.com is bologna and hot dogs the same product

Another Proud Moment Here at Two Can Anne

Some poor soul Googled:

toilet overflowed and turds floating 

And that query brought them here to this fine blog and this particular post. 

I'm so proud. Beaming. 

Thanks, Doodle. 

Two Can Anne Web Traffic History Was Made Today

I had a whopping 4,702 visitors to my blog today, a new and unbelievable record. Why, you ask? Is it the edgy coverage of hot topics of the day like, say, my post on bacon bits? Is it perhaps the extra mile I go to describe some a-hole du jour? Is it my played out series, Weird Wedding Photos?

No, no, and no.


Today, 99% of the 4,702 folks who clicked on my blog today were googling for the video of two girls eating caca from a cup. Since I haven't posted the video, clearly they were disappointed. Waa waaaaaa...

What about that 1%, you ask? Well, they were less concerned with the poop show and more concerned with "What happened to McDonald's Southwest Chicken Salad." I was able to help them out there, at least.

Two Can Anne: Your #1 News Source Sort Of.

34 43.59% two girls one cup
9 11.54% 2 girls one cup
4 5.13% 2 chicks in a cup
3 3.85% two girls-one cup
3 3.85% 2 girls one finger
2 2.56% two girls one finger
2 2.56% two girls one cup video
1 1.28% two girls and a cup
1 1.28% 2 girls one cup video
1 1.28% two girls one cup original
1 1.28% two chicks one cup video
1 1.28% two girls one cup official video
1 1.28% two girls in one cup
1 1.28% two girls and one finger
1 1.28% 2 chicks & a cup
1 1.28% 2 girls and 1 finger
1 1.28% two girls and cup real or fake
1 1.28% 2 girls 1 finger video
1 1.28% two girls and cup
1 1.28% tow girls one cup
1 1.28% two girls one cup
1 1.28% 2 girls and a cup, the real one
1 1.28% what happened to mcdonalds southwest chicken salad
1 1.28% two girls one cup link
1 1.28% two girls one cup real video
1 1.28% two girls and 1 cup

Top 4 Things Dudes are Desperate to See Online

1. Heather Mills McCartney naked
2. Halloween tits*
3. horsetail butt plugs
4. 50DDs

*I have no idea what these are. If you know, please share.

I Don't Want to Disappoint the Eager Web Surfers

Who are desperately seeking information on "horsetail butt plugs" and "dick eaters," but I'm afraid I'm not much of an expert on either. I'll fill you in on what I can, though, so ask away anyway.

Yet Another Proud Moment for Two Can Anne

A recent Statcounter.com report revealed that the following Googlers landed on Two Can Anne:

3 33.33% sheree zampino on ex-wives club
2 22.22% 2007 pregnancy photos
1 11.11% erect nipples
1 11.11% can i get a margarita in camden yards?
1 11.11% two can anne
1 11.11% ring around the collar

Can I ever stop blushing? Can a person get a goddamned maragarita in Camden Yards for chrissakes??? Mom? Dad? Have you keeled over from pride yet? Is the will intact? Mom? Dad? Hello? Geez. Hope so.

My Shining Moment

The following 6 people Googled the following 6 phrases and up popped Two Can Anne. If anyone was feeling slightly inferior to me at any point in their lives, now is the time to start feeling seriously inferior to me: I AM AWESOME. I'm so awesome, I'm high-five-ing myself right now. That's pretty fuckin' awesome. Remind me why don't I have ads on this blog or charge for a subscription service again?



1 16.67% massholes
1 16.67% humping vacuum
1 16.67% carson daly is a douche*
1 16.67% butt plug horsetail pictures
1 16.67% two-can anne
1 16.67% universal life church and marrying people in north dakota
6 100.00%

Needless to say, I can hardly type right now, as I am so choked up with tears and overwhelmed with pride and emotion I might pass out. Long live me.

* #1 hit, I might add...

Boys are Gross

I'm constantly amazed at their grossness. On Google today, someone--clearly a dude--searched for..

"photo gallery of woman with 50dd breast sizes"

...and they got my blog.

Guess that makes me a gross accomplice. I should be ashamed of myself.

Horniest Man on a Sunday Morning Award

...Goes to:

The guy in France who Googled:

pantyhose maid vacuum cleaner

And found Two Can Anne, nestled somewhere between Cock and Ball Torture Equipment and Hepa Filters. Awww...

Congratulations, French guy!

Google This and You Get Two Can Anne

"pictures of women in slutty kneehigh and knee cotton socks"

The minds of men are simple indeed. The concentration required to focus on anything other than sex must be positively spoon-bending in its intensity.

Google This and You Get Two Can Anne

Another search in which I'm proud to be featured in its results. Someone out there with an internet connection found themselves wanting to know about huge dumps. (Who wouldn't want to know about them?!) Naturally, they googled the words. And they found me. :) Remember: When you want to know about huge dumps, come on over to Two Can Anne. You'll be glad you did. Or just really pissed about the false advertising. Whatevs.