Thursday, September 13, 2007

Wow, That's Gross

Your mouth produces 1 liter of saliva a day.
PS: More if you see me naked
PPS: Less if you're smokin' grass
PPPS: If see me naked and you're smokin' grass then it's about an even 1 liter.
PPPPS: Keep dreamin' you'll never see me naked
PPPPPS: You got any grass?

Kenny Drebsen, King of the Burn

Four across and five down: Kenny Drebsen, King of the Burn.

Learn it, live it, watch it, love it, learn it. Kenny's got a degree in burnology.

"Memory lives in the heart."

-Marquise de Sevigne

To the Fine Metro-Area Jewish Community:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my black little heart, for making today's morning subway commute one of the most pleasant in recent memory. Your staying home to celebrate the joyous New Year of 5768 with your family has provided me with rapid fire trains, multiple seats in which to place my fat ass, and plenty of space all around. I actually made it to work without punching anyone in the beanbag or wanting to punch anyone in the beanbag or muttering anything under my breath about punching or beanbags. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. And Happy New Year!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Big Hug or Swift Punch in the Bean Bag?

My dear pal del-v e-mailed me this little doo dad this evening, and I'm not sure if I love him or hate him for it. It's really a close call.




Just because you draw a set of cock n' balls on your a-hole neighbor's J. Crew delivery boxes it doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a hero.

It's Not "Wendsday"

It's Wed-nes-day.

More 4th Grade spelling tricks for you compliments of me:

Connecticut: Connect!-I- cut!

assume: To assume, is to make an ass out of u and me.

restaurant: People rant about that restau-rant.


You're welcome.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Weird Wedding Photos Part MVCLLMVMC


Clam Recipe of the Day: Linguine with Clams


Lazy Linguine with Canned Clams


Ingredients:

1/2 c. olive oil2

Tbsp. minced garlic

1/8" c. sweet red pepper, chopped

1 c. dry white wine

1 15 oz can Whole Ocean Clams, drained, juice reserved

1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped

1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes

Cooking Instructions:

Sauté minced garlic and sweetred pepper in olive oil. Turn up heat andadd wine and reserved clam juice. Cook until fluid is reduced by half. Reduceheat and add Whole Ocean Clams, parsley and red pepper flakes. Serve over linguine. Serves four.



More Ambitious Linguine with Fresh Clams


Yield: 4 servings (scale up in direct proportion)

1 cup water

1/2 cup dry white wine

32 Manila or littleneck clams, scrubbed 1 cup bottled clam juice

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 cloves garlic, sliced horizontally

1/2 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley

1/2 teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes

2 teaspoons dried thyme, crumbled

Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

1 pound linguine, cooked al dente, drained, kept warm -


Directions:

Put the water and wine in a large pot and bring the liquid to a simmer over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium-high. Add the clams to the pot and cover tightly. Steam the clams just until the shells open -- about 7 to 8 minutes. Discard any clams that do not open. Remove the pot from the heat. - Strain the clams and liquid through a fine chinois or colander lined with cheesecloth. Transfer the clams to a separate bowl. Put the juice from the steamed clams in a measuring pitcher. Add enough bottled clam juice to make 2 cups. - Put the olive oil and the butter in a saucepan set over medium heat. Add the garlic and sauté, stirring, until the garlic is lightly browned. Discard the garlic. Add the clam juice, parsley, red pepper flakes, and thyme to the saucepan. Salt and pepper to taste. Bring the sauce to a gentle simmer. - Divide the cooked pasta among four heated pasta bowls. Arrange eight of the clams around the pasta in each bowl. Pour an equal amount of sauce over the pasta and the clams. Serve at once.

Save the Date and Share the Shame!


NYC's next production of Mortified is on September 26, 2007. Advance ticket purchase recommended. Show sells out! Don't make me beat you. Remember last time when I had to beat you in your grill piece and you cried and then I felt bad and whatnot? Ok. Don't make me do that again. Love you!




I Love Wes Clark

Wes Clark, Jr. in his boyhood bedroom in Burbank, CA late 1960's


I stumbled across Wes Clark's blog, Avocado Memories one evening while I was no doubt googling something vintage, and I'm so glad I did. Not only is Wes hilarious and full of clever descriptions and stories about growing up in Burbank, but the pictures he's linked to his site are fantastic. They're of amazing quality and Wes clearly went to a lot of trouble to scan, organize and explain them just so. He's also got a few other blogs, so check out Mr. Clark's stuff. He's awesome. So was his dad, apparently:


Wes Clark, Sr. ~ early 1950's

Who Doesn't Love an American? Mall?

Chicago, 1970's

NYC, 1950's
Here are a few pics pulled from a neato bandito blog I discovered recently by Keith Milford titled appropriately, Malls of America. If you've ever kicked around a mall as a teen and remember their transformation from outdoor strip malls to indoor dark malls back to outdoor strip malls and beyond, then this site is for you. Ahhh, can't you just smell the rubbing alcohol eminating from the Piercing Pagoda and hear the Musak blaring?

Weird Wedding Photos Part MVVCCMVVVXLV

Today is September 11

When I got to work, they were out front of the building reading the names starting with B.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Corey Manages to Take All the Sexy out of SexyBack



Is it because he's Canadian? How long does his lesson take until you smash your face into your keyboard? I made it until 19:02.

How to Dance at a Rage



"Flappa hounda" = "pat the dog" in Swedish

One More Bit About Brit

By Dennis Hensley. Dennis seems to capture every detail of the fifteen minutes I spent watching this caca. I'm just glad I didn't invest in more minutes and had time for other t.v., like the season premiere of Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO. Larry David was Larry David. Painfully and relentlessly awkward and annoying as ever. Fantastic. Plus, there was a huge dark chocolate layer cake in the shape of a dick involved and that's way better than seeing Britney glomming about on stage, isn't it? Poor Brit. She's probably wolfing down half a dark chocolate dick cake with her bare hands over a trashcan right about now.

Name that Nerd

Match the nerd with their specialty!


A)
B)
C)
D)
E)
1) Reconfigurable hardware, C to HDL
2) Java,Emacs, NeWS window system
3) MIPS,Warp, iWarp,Fx
4) Algorithms, parallel computation,computer architecture,VLSI,discrete mathematics
5) Path-sensitive optimizations, compiler back-end