- The summer of 1988 I spent in Innsbruck, Austria via the University of New Orleans Summer-a-Broad program: True
- My roommate on that trip became one of my best friends: True
- 1988 was not a good year for me fashion-wise and I was a what you'd call "dumpy": True
- My best friend Shari looked like shit too so I don't feel too bad: True
- I was the only Yankee on the trip and people said shit like "THE SOUTH'LL Ryyyyyyzz AGINNN and they weren't kidding: True
- A fellow kid in the program, a weird kid named Robert asked me to go to the Jethro Tull Concert in some ancient outdoor abbey, 2.0 hours outside of Innsbruck, and I said "Ok.":True
- We drank a bottle of Jagermeister on the bus, and I had never had it before: True
- I have vague memories of the opening band before I spent the rest of the concert slumped over and sitting on a park bench, snot is running down my nose style and hearing them play Aqualung: "Sitting on a park bench, snot is running down his nose": True
- I had just converted dollars to schillings that day and brought $500 US dollars worth of said schillings with me to the concert that night because I am a fucking stupid fuck face, and it either fell out of my top pocket while I was barfing behind the Port-O-Potty or I was rolled whilst I was barfing behind the Port-O-Potty, so therefore didn't spend a dime the rest of the trip and told my folks I got "shortchanged" at the bank: True
- Robert insisted he "walk" me back to my room and tried to smooch me even though I was pushing him out the door, sobering up at that point, and had vomit down the front of my shirt: True
- A few days later Robert came by our room and while he was fixing the window for us he sneezed and a booger came flying out of his nose in a long string hit one cheek and then whacked him on the other cheek and we grossed out but didn't say anything to him and just tried to pretend it didn't happen but everyone really knows what happened: True
- I never saw Robert again: True
- I never had Jagermeister again: False
- I didn't have Jagermeister for ten more years: True
- I never got sick on Jagermeister again: False
- I fear Jagermeister: True
- The taste of Jagermeister really does bum me out and make me remember the Summer -a- Broad program in a yucky cough syrupy way: True
- I'm pretty much done with Jagermeister and will only have it if people badger me into it like Robert did in 1988 but only this time add Red Bull and me talking about the horrible time I had it in 1988: True
- I can't say I've had a JagerBomb in at least 6 months: True
- I'm really not an alcoholic, I just hang out with the kids because I look like one: %$#@&!!
- I knew that Ian Anderson, lead singer of Jethro Tull was gay in 1988: False
- Ian Anderson, lead singer of Jethro Tull knew he was gay in 1988: True
- I was completely surprised when I learned a few years ago that Ian Anderson, the lead singer of Jethro Tull was gay: False
9 comments:
Drinking Jagermeister shots while working behind a bar helps make your shift go quicker. True.
As soon as aforementioned shift is finished, this bartender has a habit of falling down go boom due to copious amounts of shots consumed. True.
This has never stopped me from drinking Jagermeister. True.
Benadryl Cough Syrup is an acceptable substitute. Pass.
1988: One year later Jethro Tull would win a Grammy for Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance.
Sad, but true.
For more puke-a-licious Jagermeister fun, go here.
I never knew that about Ian Anderson. Are you sure you're not thinking of the guy from Erasure?
THICK AS A BRICK! i love jethro tull. and ian anderson rules.
sure he's gay, but just regular gay. not extra boy george gay gay.
chris, i see from your link that jagermeister is supposedly best when chilled.
the bottle we drank was piss warm.
things are coming together now.
I ran into a bear. I need root canal. And now, Ian Anderson is gay??!! Can the week get any worse?
(I suppose it's better than running into a gay bear while Ian Anderson performs a root canal on me, but still)...
anderson cooper is also gay.
sorry to break it to you this way.
i'm a poet: did i know it?
hell yeah i did. everything comes easy to me.
Jagermeister tastes like early college. True.
My favorite thing to tell everyone about it back then was that in Germany you could actually call the Jagermeister Deer on the phone and get a recording of him. True.
Though I wasn't sure if this was really true.
Our metal college station received a shitload of Jagermeister promotional items and the brand also sponsors Slayer tours and such. True.
Therefore, what with all this talk of Tull and Metallica, this might be your most metal posting ever. True?
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