Dear Upstairs Neighbor,
Your constant vacuuming makes me feel not only like a terrible housekeeper, but it also begs the personal question: Do you and family suffer from some sort of genetic disorder that makes you uncontrollably shoot breadcrumbs out of your asses?
If so, my sympathies--no doubt a terrible affliction like this is so rare, that not only is there no name for it, but there must be little or no research devoted to a cure anytime soon. Nobody's wearing little tan ribbons or doing Walk-A-Thons for this one just yet.
But while we hope and pray for that cure, might I suggest perhaps switching to a low-carb diet? I'm no doctor, but there's a chance it could save your life, your carpets, and quite possibly my sanity.
Sincerely,
Your Downstairs Neighbor
2 comments:
Maybe your upstairs neighbor is that smug English guy who had nothing better to do but to invent a vacuum that really, really sucks. I hate that guy.
What I'd give for that to be true--I'd take one smug Englishman with a great sucking sweeper vs a family of 4 loud talking,loud walking, dirty, messy, excessive vacumming Yetis.
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