I've always said that I'd never have plastic surgery on my face. I guess I thought I'd be young forever, and that the plastic surgery craze has gone too far. When I used to sell pharmaceuticals, I had to call on plastic surgeons, and I remember blowing off to one about how
I'd never need it. And he disagreed: "Your face will start to cave in on itself in your 30s." As I type this, the mirror that's supposed to make the wall look bigger only makes my frown lines look bigger. I guess Dr. Douchebag was right afterall. Since smiling more is not an option, and neither is removing the frown lines (too long of a hospital stay), I think I'll opt for a simple outpatient treatment, something that can be injected to plump and distract the eye from the frown line. It's all about distraction. I've chosen these lips to do the trick:
And once my lips are nice and distracting, I'm sure I'll continue to f*ck with myself until I look like this:
The End.
P.S. For more fun, go to www.awfulplasticsurgery.com and see if you don't get fired for cruising it all day.
P.P.S. Liz sent in this picture, because it is "terrifying." Indeed. La Toya can't stop toying with herself. This time, her tummy. Eeeeeew.
5 comments:
unfortunately i can't paste pictures onto comments so i am goign to email you a pic, anne, and i want to to post it because it is terrifying.
Here you go, Liz. Can't explain why she's blue, but it doesn't much matter, does it? It's the least creepy part of her.
wow!
LAToya looks like that girl in charlie and the chocolate factory who chews the gum and turns into a blueberry....except in this case she is deflating. pretty soon she'll be blueberry juice.
that first picture - is that a woman or a man? jeesh, I'm going to have nightmares, I think....
LaToya had some serious radical surgery. You would think she'd wear her bush on the outside? And a bit off center?
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