Drunk, Shmunk: It Was the Unicorn, Goddamnit!

How many drivin' drunkin' convinctions is it gonna take for y'all to understand that it was the goddamned unicorn, dammit? Naw, aint' gotta dang shirt! What? Crack pipe? I don't know how that crack pipe got on the console, it ain't my car! Hey! Stop grabbin' m' neck! You're breakin' my gode chine! You're hurtin' me! Watchit fer m'gode chine!