To Whom it May Concern (read: Doodle)

To Whom it May Concern (read: Doodle),

Sure, I had a few drinks last night after work and returned home in sloppy shape, but I do distinctly remember taking off two diamond hoop earrings and placing them on the bookcase with the other jewelry I removed before retiring. Why, then, did I awake to a ring on the floor, and only one earring on the bookcase? Surely you have enough toys to kick around the joint--jingle balls, super balls, milk top thingies, Q-tips, etc. Did you really need a toy encrusted in diamonds? Couldn't you have messed around with one of the red plastic pair of hoops from Claire's that I just got? I mean, honestly? Seriously? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY EARRING?

Thanks,

Anne