I hate my wardrobe. I hate shopping. I pick terrible clothes and in turn, they look terrible on me. I'm in the midst of a total fashion crisis, and I need rescued (as they say in Pittsburgh).
Please nominate me for one of those makeover shows. I don't care if they trail me on the street looking' like shit with secret cameras, interview my friends and family, or go through my underwear drawer.
NOMINATE ME.
Here are some things I dream about:
- Anne, your apartment caught on fire and every single piece of your clothing was burnt to ash. Hooray! Jaegerbombs all around.
- Anne, your luggage was lost and you'll never see those shirts, pants, jackets, skirts, or dresses ever again. I'm hungry. You?
- Anne, we donated all of your clothing. To a landfill. My dentist appointment is at 4 p.m.
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