Enormous Babies Freak Me Out

I come from a small-to-average sized family, and I was a five pounder at birth. I don't know if these facts make me averse to oversized infants, but I did have a nightmare about one on Friday night, clearly inspired by some baby pictures I saw online of an acquaintance's new bambino.

This baby had a full head of hair in the "baby's first photo" hospital shot. He didn't have that newly born, smushed face, papoose body pipsqueak appearance whatsoever. In fact, he looked so mature that he totally could have figured out how to drive himself home from the hospital, let alone be belted into a car seat. For some reason, in the dream I was there to babysit, even though I don't know these people very well. I watched him in his little recliner bucket thing that babies sit in. All was well, until the open window excited him, so he pointed at it with a "WHAT'S THAT?" and not only got out of his seated position to approach it, but pushed me over to get to the window. It took all my strength to push back with a "Get the fuck out of here!" so he wouldn't fling himself out onto the street. Friggin' huge baby, get back in your chair thing, settle down and act like a goddamn baby for cryin' out loud!

Two days later I still can't shake that nightmare. Good grief. Better not see any big babies today.

*shudder*