Two Can Anne + 2

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

If you've got a Dad, and you like him, call and/or visit Dad today.

And then let's get down to the business of eatin' iceberg lettuce salads with decoratively placed olives, buttered toast and iced tea. The Breakfast of Champion Dads.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Buffalo's Own Tim Russert Dead at 58

Oh, Tim Russert! I liked watching Tim Russert. Quality work from a smart, decent man with a great sense of humor who not only never forgot where he came from, he embraced it. RIP, Tim Russert. You'll be missed!

*Why can't a jerk like Bill O'Reilly catch a heart attack?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Why This Photo is So Important

I've posted in the past about just how much this advertisement for Mega 97.9 makes my eyes bleed. And wouldn't you know that I can't go anywhere--not even Queens--without seeing it. Look what else I captured though? A man mid-yawn. Click on the photo for maximum boredom.

Sunnyside Queens ~Anne's Annual Trip to See Her Accountant~4/08

The Final Kissing Booth

I took some snaps of Brandy and Sara at Kingdom of Heaven at the Creek and the Cave a few weeks ago. Brandy asked how the pictures came out. "Oh, they're a little blurry but great," I replied. "Totally slutty and bloody." A phrase which perfectly describes this campy, trampy and delightful duo who are celebrating the final installment of their Kissing Booth variety show tonight. Come out to support the gals! Or, just show up so you can tell them properly to fuck off. They'd do the same for you.

The Kissing Booth

presents

THE FINAL SHOW

(aka We're Sorry)

WHERE: The Tank

WHEN: Thursday June 12th, 2008

Cocktail hour & reception from 7 - 8 PM with FREE PUNCH!
Final Show from 8 - 9:30 PM
Final After Party from 9:45ish to?

COST: ABSOLUTELY FREE!

$3 Bud Light available all night, $4 wine, FREE PUNCH 'til the cooler runs dry!

with
Jamie Kilstein!
Eliot Glazer!
Matt & Katina!
Jay Bois!
…and more!!!!

Pucker up one last time for comedy!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

That Makes Scents

I went to Sephora today. Here are some new fragrances I'm digging. Feel free to purchase one or all of them for me.

What I'm not digging (and I unfortunately own in a full-sized, brand-new bottle):

Versace, Woman It smells like blecccchhhhhh. Blicky blicky doo doo. Who wants a full bottle of bleccccchhhh? Free shipping.

I Work With a Guy Who Doesn't Like Pretzels

True story. Hard, soft, doesn't matter, the guy doesn't like 'em. Who doesn't like pretzels? A guy who doesn't like pizza. And who doesn't like pizza? A jerk. A jerk doesn't like pizza.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Rain Rules

Everyone in the Northeast right now is suffering from a hot-as-balls heatwave, and that includes Doodle. She's been a patient suffering furball, moping around the house all day, all year, really. So tonight, I decided to treat her with a trip up to the roof garden so she could enjoy "nature" by slinking around the plants and sitting in the flower pots in the dark. And wouldn't you know that as we were on our way upstairs, the lightning began to flicker, the thunder rolled, and the skies opened up for one of those tremendous hot summer night rains. We went out anyway. Me in a sundress, Doodle in a purple harness (to her chagrin, but she can't be trusted.) I figured since the Empire State Building (the lights are white tonight, by the way) is so close, it would be struck by lightning before we did. Foolproof logic? Definitely not. But it didn't stop me. There's nothing as refreshing as a thunderstorm on a sweltering hot day when you've got nowhere to be, and you can look straight up into the cool drops as they pelt your face and get soaked to the core. Just beautiful. Doodle didn't like it was much as I did.

Rising Global Food Costs: How to Save

The U.S. economy is in the toilet and about to be flushed. Food costs are soaring globally and people are super duper starving in Ethiopia as opposed to just regular starving. Super fatty Americans are feeling the pinch as well. How to deal? Eat your pets. Eliminate that other mouth to feed while feeding yourself. If you can't stomach that idea, do what I do: eat next to nothing! It works! Just a few weeks into eating a pint of ice cream every other day, not only have I lost five pounds, I'm a few bucks away from purchasing my first mansion. Learn from me and spin poverty into success the delicious way.

Anne's in Love with Philadelphia: A Few Things

Philadelphia loved my hair. The first heatwave of the season was kicked off in Philly, and my 'do looked amazing. In fact, even in the humidity, I'd go as far as saying that I was the hottest single broad in Philadelphia last weekend. Did I say that? Yeah. I said it.

Philadelphia however, did not love my camera, and it died after a long battle with whatevs on Saturday night, never to revive, not even when I licked the battery. Thankfully, I got some nice pictures in before its death, but now I'm in the market for a new camera again. Feel free to purchase this one for me.

What else do you want to know? Well, I stayed here. Ate here, here, and here. Drank champagne and Campari here. Saw the most amazing art collection I've ever seen in my life here. Saw the world's largest colon and bevy of creepy babies and things in jars here. Also watched this on a huge wall in one of the most fantastic apartments I've ever seen, its lofty living room once the basketball court of the now defunct St. Paul's Catholic School.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Enjoy the Heatnessness

Thursday, June 05, 2008

You Guys Up For Lickin' Some Camel Toads?

A Few Things

Obama wins the Democratic nomination. No kidding. This country isn't ready for a broad.
I have developed a dangerous addiction to Haagen Daz lowfat frozen yogurt vanilla and/or coffee. Clearly, I'm hell bent on my dreams of outsizing and being buried in a piano case.
I've been asked to show Jealous Guy, my short starring Doodle and her ex-boyfriend Bernie (edited by Clark ov Saturn) at the New Kingston Film Festival on Saturday, July 26, 2008.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Things.

Things!

For Everyone

Anne's Holy Grail: The Mutter Museum

On Sunday I can die. Because on Saturday, I'm finally seeing my version of the Holy Grail in the historic American city of Philadelphia, home of the Liberty Bell, the cheesesteak, the Eagles/Flyers/76ers/Phillies, the Yellow Fever Epidemic of 1793, and other stuff. But most importantly, Philly is the home of the The College of Physicians of Philadelphia's Mutter Museum.

The Mutter Museum's Treasures include:

The plaster cast of the torso of world-famous Siamese Twins, Chang & Eng, and their conjoined livers

Joseph Hyrtl's collection of skulls

Preserved body of the "Soap Lady"

Collection of 2,000 objects extracted from people's throats

Cancerous growth removed from President Grover Cleveland

Tallest skeleton on display in North America

To read more about the museum's history, click here.

Did someone say conjoined livers?

Aren't Hot Dogs Just Tube-Shaped Bologna?

I'm pretty sure they are. Debate here in the office. Bologna and hot dogs are made from the same meat-style products, they're just morphed into different shapes.

Things Like This Make Me Sad

An email at work I just received:

"I will send you a new password, then make sure your enter your ID in all capital letters, then when your in there you hi lit your boss's name and make arrangements from their."

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

No Cameras No Cameras I SAID NO CAMERAS

Seth Herzog valiantly keeping the paparazzi away from me before I stumbled into my limo.

Outside the Hog Pit after a wildly successful Mortified at Comix.

June 3, 2008

**You may recognize this part of town from one of the last scenes in a certain movie called Sex and the City. But you havent' seen it yet?!? That's right, I promised I'd spoil the ending for you. Will do. Clue: Everyone dies.**